Thursday Thirteen

Since I normally post bitching and complaining - I figured that while I was killing time on the train I would do something harmless. Here are my 13 favorite things about Christmastime:

1. Decorating (and eating) sugar cookies. My fave? One big bell, frosted and covered with cinnamon red hots.

2. Watching Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph and The Grinch.

3. Buying gifts for friends and family.

4. Lights on houses when the sun goes down.

5. Receiving Christmas cards with pics of people's kids/families and seeing how much they have grown.

6. Christmas carols - Silent Night, O Holy Night and God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

7. An excuse to eat dessert!

8. Being able to be religious in a world that doesn't let you any more .. I dare you to tell me that CHRISTmas isn't a religious HOLYday!!!!!

9. Vacation days!!!!!

10. Decorating with with lots of candles and white lights on the tree so at night, without lights on, the house looks so warm and cozy.

11. Its a Wonderful Life

12. The joy on kids faces when they realize what Santa does.

13. Most people TRY and be in good moods!!!!

Time flies when you are having ... fun?

Where, oh where, has my time gone? In the blink of an eye a week goes by (yet, there are days that seem to DRAG ON FOREVER!)

Thanksgiving came and went ... E came home. It was a whirlwind weekend. I was cooking and preparing all day Thursday - his parents and sister came for dinner. We had an enjoyable time ... MUCH better than visits in the past. I must say that one of teh thinsg this deployment gave us was a new relationship with his family. They still have their quirks (whio doesn't???), but at least time with them can be enjoyable.

Friday evening we had our 20 year grade school reunion. I had a BLAST! It was so less nerve-wracking than a high school reunion. I had grown up with these people, so it seemed like a family reunion, rather than a competition. It was so cool to catch up with some people that I literally have not seen in over 20 years! I felt like I had been talking to them every day since, though! I wish we could have another! I got tipsy ... no .... DRUNK. E drove home while I slept (passed out). Thankfully I was just a bit slow the next day; not hungover like I have been in the past (E would have shot me!).

We took Big J and little j to breakfast with Santa on Saturday - little j fell completely asleep before the fat man came ... funny pic that I will have to post later!

Sunday came way too quickly. Its weird - I "envision" the visit with E for days before he gets there, yet it never turns out to be quite what I pictured. I think part of it is taht we both have defenses up - we alreayd wait for his departure the moment he arrives. Sucks - but that is life.

So ... now we wait for time to creep until vacation on teh 18th (and then we will FLY into the new year!) ........

Wordless Wednesday

For the Next Person Who Asks ...

why I did NOT vote for Obama:

http://priestsforlife.org/images/

Weird

So, Saturday night, as I am drinking my wine and watching my shoes on DVR I was playing around with Facebook. Typing in the names of people from my past to see if I could find them.
I finally found one (not THE one I have been looking for - but someone!). My old fiance, yes, the one with the kid. The one that I threw his "engagement" ring (I will use that term loosely ...)at him at the beach (not that I am a snob - but it was so small, I think it was gone forever!). The one, that through time, I realized I never was THAT upset to lose - it was breaking up with an adorable 2 year old little girl that really broke my heart.

The dude was a bit "off" and we really had very little in common ... he quit the Marines, was a stock boy in a retail store (and could barely do that) while I was freshly graduated and pursuing a career, had himself in PILES of debt (that I was trying to help payoff) and in the end, he dumped ME because he couldn't handle the relationship ....

ANYWAY .... I found him on Facebook .... he has a picture of his daughter - now 13!!!!! I can not even BEGIN to imagine ME being the Mom of a THIRTEEN year old at this point. But, she is a pretty young girl. And, it is actually somewhat creepy to see her all grown up.

Then, the myriads of "girl" questions flood my head .... I wonder if she knew of me ever (I took care of her for over a year - until she was 2 1/2), did the Mom finally step up to the plate? Does the ex look at ME and think "phew" or "wow - I let one go"?????

No biggie .. I love my hubby ... am I weird for even THINKING of these things?!?!??!?!?!

Wordless Wednesday

Frustration

I only get a few nights out, away from my boys, every few months or so. I plan ahead, grab a babysitter and enjoy my evening.

I called last week to secure my babysitter for this coming Friday evening, when I have tickets for a play with some girlfriends. I get a phone call LAST night stating that her Mom said she couldn't watch the boys.

That gave me less than 3 days to find someone to give me a break ... a night out. EVERYONE that has done it in the past, or could do it is busy (of course - in the REAL world, people have PLANS, fun things to do with their time). ME? I will probably have to cancel AGAIN ....

I am so bummed. This deployment has finally started to really wear at me. When do I get my time? When do I get to concentrate on ME for over 30 seconds??? I am tired of being last on my list.

I feel so sad I am holding back the tears as I write this. I look forward to my girls' nights ... I don't get too many of them these days. Do I not deserve a break?

I love our Lord, but once again, I wonder why He cannot give me an easy time for a while. Still no full nights sleep, and now I cannot even have a night out????

What did I do to someone in my life to have Him so pissed off at me ......

Guess I should end my pity party now ... time to go home and take care of the little people.

Pray Pray Pray

This election could be very bad for what God would want to have happen in our worls (see previous posts) ... All we can do now is pray that people will do the RIGHT thing in their voting booths ....

Tenderness

So ... in the midst of the chaos, called "my life," there are a few moments here and there that I really do treasure.

I took my parents to the airport yesterday and on teh way home Joshua was supposed to stay awake (so I could actually get a nap for them and work done for me when we returned home). He did a good job ... and kept telling me so!!!!

he took a nap shortly after 2. He woke up around 4 and I knew we only had about 45 minutes of light left (damn time change) and it was still around 70 degrees. He was thrilled.

I put little j in his push car and Big J played soccer and hide and go seek. Right before we were going in we decided to take a walk around our street.

Big J went to grab my hand and then stopped and said, "stop Mommy stop!!!!" I stopped. He didn't take my hand, he positioned little j's hand and held onto it through the entire walk.

When we were done he bent down, hugged little j and said, "I love that you are my brother." ......

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................

Winter arrives

I guess winter is here ... it snowed yesterday (just flurries .... but ICK!) and today it is SO cold I had to bust out the gloves ....

I am soooooo not a winter person ... guess I have to go into "suck it up" mode!

Big J even got angry yesterday when I made him put on his coat. His words: "MOM ... this is a winter coat ... I do not want to be in winter ... I want to go swimming."

My thoughts exactly, kid.

Fall Festivities

Pictures from our 2 visits to pumpkin patches this season ...

Wordless Wednesday

I am speechless

http://www.jillstanek.com/archives/2007/09/stanek_on_the_o.html

Thursday 13

13 Things I wish I could have, but cannot afford:

1. Liposuction. Need I say more?

2. Designer jeans. Did you know that they really do actually FIT?????? Unlike others that you have to try on 50 pair before you find one that "kinda" fits. Guess you get what you pay for.

3. A makeover. Complete and TOTAL makeover - head to toe.

4. Regularly scheduled pedicure and manicures.

5. A full time nanny.

6. A Winter home in Florida.

7. A renovated kitchen - complete with a double oven, granite counter-tops and totally decked out sink.

8. Brand new furniture.

9. A new, well-fitting, stylish wardrobe, complete with classic pieces instead of my Target specials.

10. The ability to quit my job.

11. Cubs season tickets.

12. Beautiful lingerie ... not Frederick's sh&*, but beautiful bras, panties and sucker-inners too! ;)

13. A new deck.

Wordless Wednesday

Leave me alone

You know, I am glad that my husband has been out of harms way for a while. I am sad that he has been injured and that he has been alone for several months now. I miss him - truly, I do. But .... why is it that he comes home and I feel completely graded on the job I am doing at home. He took care of the boys yesterday and today ... and apparently it is an EASY job. they are great to take care of and he was able to get chores and stuff done while he watched them. I guess I am just an idiot who cannot multi-task properly.
He also noticed some places around that house that need some cleaning .... and apparently, he would help me out with that. Whatever.
Then - he calls me today AT WORK to tell me how awful our yard looks and how could I let HIS beautiful yard get ruined. WTF??? I am DOING my freaking best. Its nice that he doesn't have to work a full time job AND take care of the kids ... ALL he does is RECOVER. Whatever.
I love him ... I want him home. But, I want him off of my back.

Random Thoughts

- So, after this Facebook craze, I have realized ... I MISS some of these people. I miss happy hours after work, I miss excursions to the mall, I miss the carefree life of the past. Friends, who weren't even THAT close to me ... suddenly have become treasured ... weird, huh?
- My boss has his stinkin admin call us for every little thing ... "check your email, call immediately, blah, blah, blah ..." But, he cancels a Monday meeting on FRIDAY at 5:00 and doesn't let anyone know???? I go ALL the way effing downtown only to find out we are cancelled. Irritating.
- I hate the Boston Red Sox.
- I hate Manny Ramirez (don't ask me why. I just do).
- I am STILL searching for a job that I might enjoy ... doesn't look like it will happen any time soon.
- It's Boss's Day this Thursday ... think I care?????
- I put on a black [pencil skirt this morning .... actually felt some what sexy - what a concept, huh? :)
- I am dying for some BBQ Pork Fried Rice .... ??????
- E paid us a surprise visit yesterday since he is recovering from surgery. The FIRST night he is home? The baby sleeps through the night. WTF?
- Is it Friday yet?????????????????????????????????????????baseball, boss, Facebook, food, job search, little

Wordless Wednesday

Sadness sweeps the land

Bummer .... so the heartbreak continues. What makes me most sad? Not that the Cubs completely BLEW it (although, it is hard to stomach), but that the fun that we could have had while watching them is over. I think that is what bothers most peiople. You plan on going to games, or having parties.
Celebrating ... it is like holidays that are not marked on the calendar. When your 3 year old son asks you, "Mommy, are we having another Cubs party?" You know you have him indoctrinated. THAT is the part that I am going to miss .... the party.
Now, evenings are back to "normal" .... bed time routines are back on track. Dinners are no longer nachos or pizza, but salads and soups. Evening attire is now pj's and lounge pants instead of jerseys and hats. Beer will be reserved for football Sundays. No more scrambling to find a babysitter so that I can see a game, instead I will find a babysitter so I can work. :(

How depressing.

maybe it is a good thing that "party" fare is off the menu. I went shopping for pants these past few weeeks - dude, I am fat. No other word to describe what I look like ... I am just fat.
I STILL haven't had an uninterrupted night sleep since March, so my energy levels to actually EXERCISE are slim to none. At night, I am too busy getting chores taken care of to actually DO a routine. In the morning, I am too tired to THINK about a routine.
But something is going to have to give. I had to try on a SIXTEEN the other day ... 16! ONE SIX ....... that is duisgusting ... especially when I have 8's hanging in my closet from last year. I am so unhappy with myself .... I just wish I had time to FIX it ....

Ugh ... what shall I look forward to so I can get through the days? hhhmmmmm ..... trip to Tampa in December ... 2 Heavenly weeks of having time .... aaahhhh.

Heartbreak

A person can experience all types of heartbreak in their lifetime ... some are more extreme and lasting than others.
The heartbreak of losing your first love, feeling empty inside, and knowing - for sure - that, even at the tender age of 17, you would never find love again.
The heartbreak of failing that big test, remembering all the countless hours of studying you put in, only to be slapped in the face when you hit the "score" button and see the word "FAIL" in bold letters.
The heartbreak you feel when your husband tells you that he questions your marriage, the sick feeling that takes over your stomach and works its way up to your throat in one big lump.
The heartbreak of watching your child get ignored by another child at the park, watching the look of confusion and sadness on his tiny face as the other runs away.
The heartbreak of moving away from your family, and wishing that they could hop on the Ryder truck with you.
The heartbreak of putting your pants on when the weather changes, and realizing that you STILL cannot get them buttoned.
The heartbreak you experience when the dreaded phone call comes, the one that takes your husband away from your arms and sends him off to war, creating a feeling of anxiety like no other.
And then, there is the heartbreak of watching your team, the team that you have cheered for religiously for over 30 years, the team that your Grandpa adored, the team that your Dad was driven to drink over, that team that your Uncle and you have bonded over ... THAT team .... disappoint you, yet again. In the grand scheme of things, it isn't THAT bad of a heartbreak .... but after a while, the pain and sadness start to feel the same. You cheer them on, you cry with them, you yell and scream at them. You spend you hard earned dollars on hats and T-shirts and sweatshirts and tickets. You teach your 3 year old the songs that epitomize them. You work your schedule aruond their schedule. You fight for them (Go away you stinkin White Sox fans!), you defend them.
Come on Cubbies .... let's get it back and END the heartbreak for so many... PLEASE?!?!?!?!??!?

Too busy for words .....

Life is CRAZY busy .... CRAZY. The boys are insane! Work is INSANE (can anyone tell me why I work with the stock market???)! My schedule has been INSANE .....

I hope next week will slow down .... but for now ... I am going to pay some bills, download some pictures and get ready to go see my beloved Cubbies play ball tomorrow!!!!!

Where has time gone????

I think it has nearly been 2 weeks since I last posted. Where has August ... shoot even SEPTEMBER ... gone?????

JL, my youngest sister, visited last week. It was so nice to have her here. Obviously it was nice to have help ... but it was also nice to have COMPANY. Someone to chat with once the kids go to bed.

She babysat for me a few days, while I went on my scheduled work appointments ... maybe she will be waiting for those additions to her family after these experiences!!! :)

We tried to shop a few times (tried being the important word there!). Mostly we just took the boys to lunch or dinner and hung out. We went to the Bears/Bucs game on Sunday - that was fun.

I celebrated my 4 year anniversary last Thursday ... without E. :( It sucked to not be able to celebrate with him. What was cool was that he sent me flowers and fruit (unbeknown to me - these are the traditional gifts for a 4 year anniversary). For anyone that KNOWS E and our issues that have plagued us over the years ... THIS was BEYOND sweet. I most certainly cried.

I am STILL looking for a new position ... to no avail. I wonder if I will EVER find anything. I really hate this place. Enough said.

I am trying to keep the boys out of teh house as much as possible over teh course of teh next week ... since I know CRAP weather is JUST around teh corner ...

Oh the joys .......

Sick and Tired ....

So maybe I need a Friday FIFTEEN for today .... I am fed up and irritated ... PMS is raging, I am going on a total of 6 hours sleep in three days, I hate my job, I must VENT now!
OK - so ....

I am sick and tired of: my son not sleeping. He is 6 months old. By now he should be sleeping "like a baby," peacefully through the night. This stupid game he plays that he suddenly forgets how to roll himself over is NOT cute anymore. I literally had to walk away from him last night ... I was getting so angry. SO EFFING ANNOYING!

I am sick and tired of: my job. If I have to go hang out at one more effing police station at 6:00 freaking AM, I am going to go nuts. No one is doing ANYTHING with their accounts - other than bitching, it is a waste of time and I am tired. Whatever. Could I NOT find something good?

I am sick and tired: of people stuffing Obama down my throat. No. I do not want to vote for him. No. I do not trust him. Yes. I am younger, my husband has been deployed ... these do NOT make me sway my beliefs like most people. Just because most people my age have thrown their upbringings out the window long ago, I have continued mine. I go to Mass every Sunday. I am Pro-Life. I do not agree with the welfare system as we have it. I feel that people should WORK for what they get, not be handed it. I believe in morals. I believe that we need to fight terrorism. I think Obama is shady and, quite frankly, a wolf in sheep's clothing. Quit trying to make me feel bad for not wanting him in office. And, oh yea, I kind of like Palin ... a mother with 5 kids, a working woman, a church going woman .. and pretty to boot. And she is BAD for women??? Whatever people ... quit being hypocrites.

I am sick and tired of: hearing about going green. Eff that. Green? WTF???? Pardon my French (2 hours of sleep does not keep my mouth clean). If someone would like to give me a raise so that I could afford hybrid cars, recycled paper towels and new light bulbs, I could help you. Until then, leave me alone. I use disposable diapers, I throw them away in plastic grocery bags and I clean my floor with Pine Sol. Get over it. Al Gore is a dumb ass.

I am sick and tired of: my husband not understanding anything I say. I repeat myself at LEAST three times with EVERYTHING. LISTEN and I will NOT have to tell you again ... and MAYBE you would understand the FIRST effing time!!!!

I am sick and tired of: being bitchy .... I NEED to get some sleep so I can become a more calm and peaceful person .... oh jeez ... this is JUST not me.

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I wonder about:

1. Exactly what makes people think Obama will bring about change but McCain won't? He ISN'T Bush .... he has already disagreed with many things ... so ... what is the big deal about this "change" platform they keep talking about?

2. Why can't the teams that I root for ever win? Why am I always on/rooting for teams that are losers?!??! High school football? HA! We sucked. All of the softball teams I played for? Can you say "slaughter rule?" The Cubs? Enough said.

3. I have been wanting a new job to make a better life for my kids for a while. Why can I not find anything; yet, some people THINK about a new position, and it falls into their lap.

4. If oil is at its lowest, why did my gas just go up 30 cents a gallon????

5. Why does it seem that EVERYONE I know gets to be stay at home moms? They go out to lunch, shop .... do ALL of these men REALLY make THAT mich money? Is my husband NOT????

6. When- OH WHEN- will I lose some weight!?!?!??!

7. Maybe some day my husband will have something hit him in the head and he will decide that he wants to move out of this frozen tundra we call Chicago .... ugh. Only September and people are already wearing winter coats.

8. Why DOESN'T bologna get pronouced like lasagna?

9. Will I be a HOT mama some day?

10. Why are some people able to hold onto friends for years and years and years ... and mine seem to change every few?

11. Will this winter be as cold and depressing as last? (Oh Dear Lord, I hope not!)

12. When will my husband be sent home?

13. Will they ever invent a diet pill that let's me eat WHATEVER the heck I want ... and still LOSE weight? How about a a device that allows donation of fat? Seriously, think about it. People can donate organs, tissue, etc. Well, I have enough fat in my thighs to make, AT LEAST, 5 women's boobs double in size! No more silicone ... just get donated fat!!! LOL!

Picking up Big J

Back at work from a few days off and I feel like I have been gone for a month (I could actually USE a good month off!).

The trip to Tampa was good - woke up at the crack of dawn (although little j started his "I cannot rollover come and get me" game around 4:30 - so I was up).

When we landed in Tampa Big J was at the end of the terminal and came running through people, doging legs and bags, to give me a hug. THAT was awesome. In the car, he kept saying, "I am SO glad to see you guys." :)

It was amazing what changes a brand new three year old can make in 2 short weeks. He kept telling me that he was a gentleman and that he does chores, etc. He showed me everything he had been doing at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Every time he even LOOKED little j's way, little j would get all excited and giggle like mad.

I took Big J in the pool and finally showed him how to jump in ... in 2 short days he was jumping in all by himself and swimming aruind with his floaties on his arms. THAT was cool (pics posted later!).

It, once again, was nice to be with my family, away from it all. Ate too much, drank too much ... watched sports too much. What is new?!?!?!? :)

The trip back home was uneventful - many people wonder how I do it - 2 boys , me and luggage .... but, with practice, it isn't too hard. Big J did great .... watched his movie and ate his turkey sandwich. On the way home he said, "I am SO GLAD you brought me home Mommy, but I miss Grandma and Grandpa."

Oh, out of the mouths of babes ......

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I cannot believe:

1. I got rear ended by a Chicago Cop this afternoon. He honked his horn, ran into me and left. Now I have to go through an investigation ... woohoo.

2. Summer is over.

3. I am STILL wearing big lady underwear ... when - oh when - am I going to shrink????

4. I have been up since 4:30 this morning.

5. I have to be up at 5:00 tomorrow morning.

6. People actually think Obama is GOOD for this country.

7. The lady from a job I would really enjoy hasn't returned my phone call.

8. I have yet ANOTHER "blemish" on the very tip of my chin.

9. I get to see Big J tomorrow!

10. It has been pouring ALL day ... who would have thought you could get a Hurricane in Chicago?!?!???!

11. My husband is still not home ... and we have no clue when he will be.

12. Little j STILL cannot figure out how to roll himself over in the middle of the night.

13. How many old friends I have been in contact with through Facebook ... its like hundreds of reunions all going on at once!

Wordless Wednesday

"I love you" .....

So .... I just got back from seeing my E .... What a feeling. So happy - yet so sad.

Here is the fill-in:

E was injured overseas ... he hurt his back. They have sent him back to Ft. Bragg for medical treatment and more than likely, he will NOT return to Iraq. BUT - and here is my big BUT - he will NOT be returning home any time soon. From what he tells me, these medical boards and treatments can take 90 days or more ... and they will NOT release him until they fix what they broke. Ugh. So ... we are awaiting word on if he undergoes surgery or rehab or what.

So ... with Big J in Tampa visiting Grandma and Grandpa, we got MIL to watch little j and I headed out to Ft Bragg on Friday to see E.

I left from Ohare early and arrived in Fayetteville around 12:00. I rented a car, since E has been using post transportation this entire time. I knew he would want some time off the base ... and I needed a way to get around as well. I arrived at Ft Bragg with E waiting for me - he had a dozen roses with gerbera daisies attached (my fave), some gummy bears (some of my favorite candy) and an 8-pack of Diet Dr Pepper waiting for me in his fridge. For E to be THIS thoughtful is highly unusual. It was absolutely incredible to see him ... and have him just hold me (without any kids in the mix - I actually forgot I was a Mom for a short time)!

He immediately showed me around the base - this place is HUGE! Unlike what I truly pictured. It was cool b/c I was able to see where he trained, ate, slept ... some places were nicer than others. I was actually disappointed to see some of the places we allow our troops to sleep for weeks on end .... I think prisoners actually get better living conditions than some of these guys!

Friday night we went downtown Fayetteville (what a small town!) and ate dinner at a bar & grill. It was great to actually sit down and have a glass of wine with my husband on a Friday night! I felt like a lady again ... not just "mom."

On Saturday we SLEPT IN!!!! I woke up at 9:30!!!!! Can you actually believe that! It was heavenly ... not only to wake up whenever I wanted - but to be next to Eric again. We went to late breakfast and then he drove me out to the FOB (forward operating base). This is the place that he stayed for a few weeks, training for war. It is created to simulate life in Iraq. It was really neat to see - and hard to imagine my husband having to endure things like all of this. It was cool - yet scary at the same time.

We wandered around the PX and sat in the room and watched the Cubs game. That evening we got cleaned up and had a romantic Italian dinner downtown. It was so great.

On Sunday he took me to the Post chapel for church and we went out for Sunday brunch. We ate WAY too much but really enjoyed ourselves. That afternoon we went to the Special Forces Museum in Fayetteville. It was really neat to see the history behind these guys. What jobs they do ... and the things we, as Americans, take for granted on a daily basis. The next person that complains about war, politics, etc ... let them jump into a uniform and see what America REALLY is all about.

Because we ate such a heavy brunch we weren't really hungry until late. When was the last time just E and I went driving around looking for somewhere to go for dinner at BEDTIME?!?!?? It was so much fun. We stopped at a BBQ joint and had a great time.

Monday morning was bittersweet since I knew I had to leave that afternoon. We skipped breakfast and slept in, once again. We went to the PX to get something for Big J and an Army wife mug for me. It was hard to not get swept up in the "excitement" (is that the word I am really looking for?) of it all. Being on base, around soldiers, seeing my husband and all that he went through .... it made me very proud (maybe for the first time) to be an "Army Wife" ... I have always always been proud of E ... but never really thought of myself as an "Army Wife."

We went out to a Sports Bar on base for lunch ... played a mean game of air hockey and then went back to the room and prepared to leave. It was so hard. He is home .... but not home. He feels like he let down his Unit by not being back there and has to fight that demon, every day, all by himself. He knows that is children and wife sit back and go on with their lives without him while he waits on people to control his future life.

As much as I was all "hoorah" for the Army ... I am a bit pissed with them as well. Take care of my husband and then bring him home. Don't let him sit and sit and sit ..... what good does it do anyone????

Leaving was awful. I hugged him as hard as I could and drove away. I received a text about 15 minutes later .... "I LOVE YOU" .... I cried.

And now ... I am back in the hell hole that I call an office ... dealing with the same bullshit I deal with every time I am here ...and I want to scream at them all for not giving a shit about anyone else but themselves. Ugh ..... I miss E badly.

More work BS

So .... ever since I decided that I needed to get out of my current position, I find that I have NO desire to even THINK of my job. The sad and scary thing? Not a BITE from my resume ... not even a nibble.

Here is the latest from the "most brilliant manager in the world" :

Background:
About a month ago, "the boss" came to me with this brilliant schedule he drew up on his nice pretty spreadsheet (and I mean PRETTY - colors and everything were included). He had decided that September we would have "financial fair" days. We would set up at most of our locations and drum up business through fliyers, bulletins, etc. Fine - except .....
He wanted me at my police stations from 6am till 10 am ... and 2pm till 6pm (to cover all shifts). I cannot do this. Day care doesn't even OPEN until 6:30 and it closes at 6. "The boss" said that he knew it would be hard for me, and that someone could cover for me, but "it wouldn't look very good for my performance review." (Yes - please notice those QUOTES!).
So ... I scrambled to call family and friends, and finally worked out dates for people to help me out and babysit, so that "the boss" would give me a glorious review. Every day in Spetember was booked solid with police visits ... and when I wasn't scheduled to be at a police station, he wanted me sitting at a firehouse from 10-4 (in the hope that local fire houses would come see me).
OK ....

Fast forward to last Thursday:
I sent "the boss" an email asking him about these fair days, because no one I was talking with seemed to know anything about them. He ignored me email. Late Thursday we were told that we had a mandatory conference call with "the boss."
So ... this is how "the boss" starts:
"I have not had time to let the City know about all of our dates for these fair days. SO I would like to reschedule everything for October."

WWWWWWW TTTTTTTT FFFFFFFFFF?!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?!

So, since I am the ONLY one on our group that ever seems to have issues, and am the ONLY one that ever speaks up. I tell him that I cannot do that. That I have babysitters coming in from out of town to help and there is NO way I can reschedule.

So, "the boss" says, well, we will just get someone to cover for you.

My turn to throw HIM under the boss. I say:
"No. I don't think so. You told me that if I had someone cover for me, it would look bad on my review. And, I do not one anyone else in my territory, getting my business."

Some people finally speak up and say that we should just keep our originaly schedule, sans the firehouses .....

Whatever is all I have to say.

I .... really .... HATE .... my .... job ... and ... "the boss" .....

Must vent NOW

OK ... so I am either going to vent on here - or I am going to get fired - TODAY.

So .... I am in that office, as I mentioned before ... I hate it each and every time I am here. I feel like we all get treated like 10 year olds. Take your break at such and such a time, lunch at such and such .... except for the QUEEN of the office.

Myself and another girl are filling in for 2 people that are on vacation today. We both just got bitched out for not taking our breaks and lunches at the precise time we are alotted. She is supposed to go to lunch at 12:00 - me? 2:00 (yeah I know - WTF kind of lunch am I supposed to eat at 2:00???)

OK - so ... she leaves at 12:00 for lunch ... QUEEN decided she is going to take her break at 12:00 as well .... and that she will not accept any clients b/c she is BUSY ... than why the eff she she even here? I thought that was our job ..... so ... I sit here - taking all the mother effing phone calls, seeing all the walk-in clients AND getting freaking crap piled up on my desk by the boss who seems to think it is just fine to ignore her superiority and dump on teh rest of us....

I am so over this shit ... can you tell?

Good luck?

OK - so not only am I in the dreaded office today ... but I go on my break (yes, I have to take my alloted 15 minute break, right on schedule) ... walking to grab some more coffee ... and SPLAT. A mother-effing peigeon took a dump all over my shoulder.

WTF?????

I tried to clean everything off the best that I could .... I want to take a shower so incredibly bad. It smells ... bad. It was on my hair, my dress, my hands .... EEEWWWWW.

It remdins me of the day back in high school during Chemistry class that the bunson burner caught part of my well-hairsprayed hair and POOF ... I smelled like burned hair all day.

I am just so thoroughly groosed out. Everyone keeps telling me that this is supposed to be good luck ... for real? I would rather find a 4-leaf clover or pick a penny up .... it is much more sanitary!!!!!

Monday, Monday ...

The weekend is done already? Geesh ... another Monday is here. WooHoo! (Can you hear the elation in my voice?!?!!?)

The weekend was nice ... trying to curb my irritation with being Mommy sometimes. No Daddy + PMS + 5 month old + almost-3 year old = AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

We took Big J for his 3 year pics on Saturday ... what a handsome little dude he is becomming (I will scan pics in tonight and post) ... all signs of my baby are pretty much gone. :(

This week is going to be crazy .... working and waiting for my parents to HOPEFULLY make it into town on Thyrsday (Hurricane Fay could put a damper on that one). Big J's birthday is on Friday and his party - the Cubs party he has been talking about for weeks is Saturday. I have grocery shopping to get to ASAP for his tacos (his request) .... I am excited for him.

Lttle j's Baptism is on Sunday - it is going to be a SMALL, understated ceremony ... since Daddy cannot make it, and his Godmother cannot make it .... Afterwards my Mom and Dad take Big J back with them for 2 weeks. While I know I am looking forward to a bit of a break from my little blue-eyed bug, I am going to miss my buddy terribly.

Will Work for .....

So - I think I have my resume to a decent enough status that I can start sending it out. I actually applied to 6 jobs this morning .....

I still think playing the lotto (and winning) would make me happier!

Nuts?

OK .... so follow me on this one it may get a little crazy .... I guess I just need to see if I am the only one who ever feels this way or if I am just goofy.

So, ever since I got into Facebook .... as stated in my earlier post, I have become addicted. For YEARS, I wondered what happened to so many of those people from my life and now I finally had the ability to find out! Well, some of the people that were huge parts of my life way back when are the ones that are no where to be found!!!!

Yesterday, I was on Google (sitting on the train on the way home from work - wasting time - Lord knows I don't have time to do this stuff when I am at home!) and I was entering some of those names. One old girlfriend from high school was there ... I clicked and saw her wedding pictures. Now ... here is the story:

Since I went to a private school, I had a few "groups" of friends. A group of friends from the local public school, my private school friends, work friends, etc, etc, etc.

I was friends with Sally (fake name - to protect all those involved) my Sophomore year of high school. We did EVERYTHING together, slumber parties, shopping, talking about boys. We were best friends.

My friends Jane and Ann were two other very close friends from the local high school ... we spent many nights looking for boys, hanging out and having fun.
I met my boyfriend my Junior year - he was that "first love" everyone always refers to. First EVERYTHING .... he was also part of my "public school" group of friends.

Slowly but surely, a lot of my "groups" ran together. Jane and Ann and Sally and I became a group of 4 that had great times together. My boyfriend was also always part of that mix. Sally even dated his friend ... we all went to Prom together.

My Senior year was a rough one. One week before my school Homecoming, my boyfriend broke up with me while he was away at college (he never gave me much of an explanation, he just kept telling me that I was going overboard), Jane and Ann and I drifted apart. Slowly Sally began to hang out with Jane and Ann without me and became distant and cold.

I developed other relationships and still enjoyed my Senior year. We found out we were moving to Florida in March so my second half of the year was spent having fun and making the most of my time. Ann and I talked and re-established our friendship, along with Jane ... but Sally and I still remained distant.

One day, about a month before I was moving, my ex called and we had a LONG heart to heart. I finally asked him why he had broken up with me. Why he claimed I had gone overboard.

Turns out, Sally had called him at school and told him that I spent my days telling everyone that he was coming home at Homecoming to propose, that he was going to transfer schools to be with me wherever I went, that I was being rude to my friends and turning into , basically, a bitch. Obviously, this was SO FAR from the truth. She had even been telling Ann and Jane lies about me, hence the distance that had come into our friendship as well.

Sally was confronted at lunch hour - it was quite embarrassing for her .... school became a horrible place for her ... the only friends she had left were Ann and Jane.

If I remember correctly, Sally and I tried to mend our friendship before I moved. It worked for a bit, but I could never quite forget her deceptiveness (she claimed she was trying to save me from getting me heart broken down the line) and her coldness never seemed to disappear.

Once I moved away, I lost touch with most people from high school ... while they all got to reconnect every Christmas and Summer break, I spent mine with new friends in Florida. I was always kind of broken hearted seeing my friends continue to bond while I was phased out of the picture ... especially since Sally had treated me so badly.

When I moved back to the Chicago area I got in touch with Ann .... we met for a night out one night and I found that all three of the girls had become "roomies" after college. That evening Ann and Jane and I reconnected, Sally spent most of the night giving me evil looks and making her life seem oh-so-great, and putting mine down.

Fast forward many years. I never got back in touch with any of those girls. I have often wondered where they ended up or what they were doing. (Same thing with the ex - but that is a different story)

So ... as I said, yesterday, I googled their names. I found Sally's wedding pictures. Good - glad she is happy. I guess the part that bothers me is this: Ann and Jane were both part of her wedding. Part of me felt a little sad .... I cannot explain why. Does that even make sense???? Not sad like - OMG I am going home to cry, but sad like, geesh, why can't I have friends that have been in my life for 20 years and would have been part of my special day. Those were my friends - and because of someone's cruelty, they didn't remain close.

I have GREAT friends these days .. wouldn't trade them in at all. I guess I just wish I could be one of those people that could say she has friends that have withstood the test of time ....

Am I nuts? Does ANY of this makes sense ... or did I just ramble on and on for the hell of it????? Oh well .... I have two great kids, wonderful friends and a life .... the past is teh past ... and believe me, I am not dwelling on this one! :)

Wordless Wednesday

It's About Time!

I almost forgot .... in my flurry to get ready this morning and off to day care on time, I stepped on the scale.

I FINALLY saw a LOWER number ... I lost 3 pounds! First drop I have seen since I brought the little dude home!!!

Woo Hoo!!!!

Cheking in and things

Wow - I didn't realize that it had been so long since I last posted anything! My life just keeps going faster and faster, but I really cannot tell how mnay MPH I truly go until I see the days on the calendar that have gone by!
My sister was in town two weekends ago ... we had a blast. Spent a lot of time at the pool, ate some good meals, went to a Cubs game, the Poison concert ... it flew by (what's new?)! I will post some pics soon!
I am preparing for Big J's big 3rd birthday celebration in two weeks ... I CANNOT believe I have a 3 year old. I still look at hime and see my baby boy who would cry when I put him in the car seat or would giggle when i played peek-a-boo. Now we are dealing with tantrums and the "ICanDoIts" .... :)
Little j is so close to sleeping through the night, I can feel it! Now if I could just remind him that he KNOWS how to roll over I could avoid running in there when he gets pissed that e is stuck on his stomach!!!!
E is STILL gone. Who knows what the hell is happening with that. I am to the point that I will wait until I see airline info for a flight home until I get excited. I hear rumors of late fall, early winter, early Spring .... I just sit back and keep plugging away.
Work explodes at the end of this month. Boss man STILL has no sympathy or concern for ANYTHING about me. My territory is set up for my failure (I sometimes think this is actually is doing) and I am tired of the snide comments about performance reviews, etc. I am SO OVER it.
I am almost done perfecting my resume and my next step is finding jobs and sending the sucker out .... I am STILL debating about playing the lotto every day ... maybe then I could TRULY do what I want to do ... NOTHIN!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I Hope to Wear Again someday:

1. My bikini

2. Skinny jeans

3. Pencil Skirt (I would walk like I belonged in the sausage race up in Milwaukee!)

4. Lingerie (too many lumps and bumps)

5. Push-Up bra (I would have boobs in my ears if I wore one now)

6. Cute tank tops

7. Shorts (and not just for working out)

8. My blouses tucked INSIDE my pants

9. Swanky dresses

10. All of the fun skirts I bought a few summers ago

11. Short t-shirts

12. Cute workout tops at the gym (now its just old t's)

13. Anything that clings

Wordless Wednesday

OK - I am addicted

So ... I joined Facebook a few months ago but didn't see anyone I knew and I kind of wrote it off.

I happened to be killing some day one night and - OMG!!!! - I am addicted!

I have seriously found long lost people .... my old next door neighbor from 7th grade, my college roommate, old soroity sisters, high school classmates .... It is actually quite fun!

If you have never gone on ... seriously, try it! It is a great way to find those people that you always wondered, "I wonder what happened to them?"

Two-fer Tuesday

2 things I had to clean up yesterday:

1. I decided to make the afternoon special for Big J. It was a hot day, I tried to finish work up early and I decided I would get him a Vanilla Shake on the way home. I filled his pool up and we were going to play. Big J felt that he needed a DIFFERENT snack and wanted to "save the shake for later." I told him no ... well, he didn't listen. As I walking in the door with little j, I heard a thud, an "oh no" and then a cry ... I walk into the kitchen to see Big J with the frig door open, shake up-ended and spilling ALL OVER my kitchen floor. No more shake for Big J.

2. I was up at 2:00 feeding Little j. I hear a "Mommy" coming from the other room, I poke my head in and ask him what is wrong, "I want to sleep in your bed." I told him no and then he says, "but Mommy, mine is all wet." ..... After three days of wearing underpants to bed, he finally had his first accident. So ... I stripped the bed, I wiped up the mattress, and Big J slept in Mommy's bed.

Thursday Thirteen

13 of my Favorite Snacks:

1. Oreos and Milk - What I wouldn't do to have a bag of those right now!

2. Chips and Salsa

3. Fritos - These are EVIL. I haven't had any in YEARS since they are like 1000's of calories!!!

4. Cool Ranch Doritoes - Simply the best!

5. Hint of Lime Tostidos - These are my new found favorite chips!

6. Microwave popcorn - Especially while I am watching a good movie!

7. Ice Cream - and not low fat either - just give me a tub of the good stuff - maybe Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia or Edy's Girl Scout Samoa's and leave me alone!

8. Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwich's - these are so yummy and taste like they are worse for you than they really are!

9. Sour Cream and Onion Pringles - I could literally eat the entire container at once.

10. Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles - another evil creation.

11. Smoked Almonds - Can anyone REALLY have ONE SINGLE serving????

12. Smoked Cheddar Cheese and crackers - WOW! How yummy! Another thing I cannot have just ONE serving of!

13. Smoked Fish spread - I cannot get this around here, so I love when I visit my parents and they have a tub of this - it is heavenly!

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Two-fers

2 reasons I am sad:

1. My Mom and Dad left today. This just sucks.

2. My work schedule doesn't lighten up till .... shoot - looking at my calendar - it NEVER lightens up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever!!!!!!

Wouldn't you LOVE to have THIS problem??????



http://health.msn.com/fitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100210358>1=310

No offense meant to anyone who has this "issue" but ... geesh ... for once in my 34 years of life ... could my issue be like this?!??!?!?!? LOL!

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I Love About my Parents



1. They love to drink. I know - it sounds like we are all alcoholics ... but seriously, hoe many people can actually say that they can get a little toasty with their Mom and Dad and not be embarrassed by it???

2. They are still young. They both may be 57 - but NO ONE ever believes me. They have energy to do things and the willingness to try!

3. They are sports nuts ... sometimes I think my Mom is worse than my Dad! Mom has taken the Tampa teams on as her own and even growing up I can remember countless weekends, school nights and big events being centered around Bulls games, football games, Cubs playoff games, etc, etc, etc.

4. They love my boys.

5. They are easy to talk with about most anything ... not EVERYTHING ... but most things.

6. My Mom never tried to be my best friend ... she always was, and still is, just my Mom ... and I like it like that.

7. My Dad loves to shop .... I always thought that was the coolest thing!

8. They travel. How many people have parents that refuse to get on a plane? Mine don't mind at all!

9. They still want their family to always be together. While it may sometimes get annoying that they haven't figured out that I am a 34 year old woman with a life of her own and 2 kids, I think it is awesome that they still think of me and my sisters as there little kids.

10. My Mom cannot handle being away from my Dad. My Dad cannot handle being away from my Mom. It can be annoying when you want to do things ... but in the end ... I think it is totally cool that after 36 years of marriage, they still want to be with each other.

11. They embrace my friends. Ever since I can remember, my friends were always made into part of our family .... there are very few people in this world who cannot get along with them.

12. They know me like the back of their hands. It sucks that I can never hide anything. It is great that I can never hide anything .... catch 22 huh?!

13. They love each other. They love my sisters. They love me. And, I believe, they even love all three of their son-on-laws.

Wordless Wednesday

Two-fer Tuesday

Two things I would rather be doing (than sitting in this office and answering these darned phones):

1. Laying on a beach, getting a tan (screw the skin cancer thing), drinking a cool drink (preferably with some rum or vodka in it), reading a good book and having nothing else to do all day.

2. At home, on the couch, in some comfy clothes, watching reruns, eating some good food (because - in fantasies - calories do NOT count), playing the kids, getting ready to go lounge at the pool all day .....

Maybe these thoughts will sustain me until 5:00- or I pass out from these phone calls - whichever comes first!

Life is Short

Saw this printed in the Chicago Tribune a while back ... It holds so many truths.

Life's Short.
Make that Call

Life's Short.
Write that letter.

Life's Short
You'll live longer if you fix that thing that's driving you nuts.

Life's Short.
Too short for bad wine, bad coffee and uncomfortable underwear. But there's always room for "American Idol."

Life's Short.
Embarrassing e-mails live forever.
Are you Sure you should hit send?

Life's short.
Don't waste another day with a hangover.

Life's Short.
Spend less time looking in the mirror and more time looking at the sky.

Life's short.
When was the last time you watched the stars?

Life's short.
Get TiVo.

Life's short.
Too short to figure out TiVo. Just get rid of the TV.

Life's short.
Get over it.
Get over the grudge.
Get over the sorrow.
Get over the fear.
Get over the memory.
Get over the disbelief that on the cosmic clock your life lasts barely longer than a cough.

Life's short.
Be ready to die.

Life's short.
Stop making excuses.
Life is short but there is still time for breakfast.

Life's short
But never too short to help a friend.

Life's short.
Good weather is shorter.
Go outside.

Life's short.
But there is no need to rush.

Life's short.
Lengthen. Your. Breath.

Life's short.
Do you really want to watch that rerun of a rerun of that sitcom rerun?

Life's short.
Show your necks and knees while you're young.

Life's short.
How much of yours will you waste at your computer?

Life, however long, will always be short. Too short for anything to be added.

Monday... Monday....

So ... the weekend flew by like a bat out of hell. Why is that anyway??? We spend Five stinkin days working, busting our butts, with most of those days seeming to take FOREVER to get by ... yet, we have only two days to recoup and recover and they ALWAYS ALWAYS fly by??????

Anyway ... Friday night I took the boys to Max and Erma's for an early dinner. Big J enjoyed his ice cream sundae with blue, yes blue, whipped cream (he had a LOVELY ring around his mouth for hours!). After I put the boys to bed I did the Jillian DVD "30 Day Shred." Holy CRAP it KICKED MY ASS! It was only 20 minutes but it felt like I had been working out for at least an hour ... I think I will be using this workout a Lot!

Saturday morning we putzed around the house, made LOVELY by the fact that little j slept through the night, until it was time to meet a friend for lunch. Right before we ate little j promptly puked all over himself. I thought maybe it was because I had given him the bottle that I left out for his nighttime feeding (I know - bad Mom).

That afternoon we went to a lake and let the kids swim and dig in the sand. Big J was in hog heaven. Right before we were leaving, little j's diaper held an EXPLOSION .... that is what started the poopfest.



Have you ever been invited? If not ... feel free to come by ... lots of great smells and entertainment from the faces Mommy makes as she tries to clean up the pajamas, butt cheeks, mattress, and anything else that came into contact with the festival!!!!

The rest of the weekend (outside of the pooping) was relaxing ... we spent time at the park, had dinner at a friend's house and watched the Cubs.

Little j is 4 months old today (my how time flies) and my parents get into town on Thursday (maybe the will help this week FLY by!!!)

Follow Up

So .... Little j DID sleep through the night! Didn't hear a peep out of him until 7:45 this morning! :)

But....................

The storms rolled in at 4:35 ... I promptly heard a "MOMMY!" coming from Big J's room. The thunder lasted about 45 minutes (a few made me jump - so I can only imagine how a 2 year old would feel!).

So, maybe tonight I will have a no-storm, sleep through the night, night ... wouldn't that be nice!?

Oh yea ... here is a recent picture of the two little dudes from the 4th of July:

Getting There

Slowly but surely I will have this blog set up the way I want it to be. It is infuriating that I cannot do it on my home computer ... that thing is such the piece O' crap. I am now sitting in bed, on my work lap top (wasting VALUABLE sleep time I must add) working on this darned thing! I just want to get it up and running so I can truly start posting about things that really matter ...

Like how my husband is driving me nuts ..... But, we shall discuss that at another time ... Now ... it is time to get less than my average of 6 hours of sleep .... which may be even less if we get storms tonight ... It will bring Big J into Mommy's bed ... and then I will deal with feet in my face, stomach, arms ...

Night Night!

An Oops on My part

So - I originally set up my blog for my husband to read while he was deployed. I don't think he ever bothered to look at it. In the meantime, I sent the address to WAY too many people and now, I cannot even BITCH about those people (the ones I need to be bitching about the most!).
So, here is my new blog .... I will be more open and honest in this one ... because, well, isn't that what this is supposed to be for anyway?
See you soon!!!!!