Wordless Wednesday

For the Next Person Who Asks ...

why I did NOT vote for Obama:

http://priestsforlife.org/images/

Weird

So, Saturday night, as I am drinking my wine and watching my shoes on DVR I was playing around with Facebook. Typing in the names of people from my past to see if I could find them.
I finally found one (not THE one I have been looking for - but someone!). My old fiance, yes, the one with the kid. The one that I threw his "engagement" ring (I will use that term loosely ...)at him at the beach (not that I am a snob - but it was so small, I think it was gone forever!). The one, that through time, I realized I never was THAT upset to lose - it was breaking up with an adorable 2 year old little girl that really broke my heart.

The dude was a bit "off" and we really had very little in common ... he quit the Marines, was a stock boy in a retail store (and could barely do that) while I was freshly graduated and pursuing a career, had himself in PILES of debt (that I was trying to help payoff) and in the end, he dumped ME because he couldn't handle the relationship ....

ANYWAY .... I found him on Facebook .... he has a picture of his daughter - now 13!!!!! I can not even BEGIN to imagine ME being the Mom of a THIRTEEN year old at this point. But, she is a pretty young girl. And, it is actually somewhat creepy to see her all grown up.

Then, the myriads of "girl" questions flood my head .... I wonder if she knew of me ever (I took care of her for over a year - until she was 2 1/2), did the Mom finally step up to the plate? Does the ex look at ME and think "phew" or "wow - I let one go"?????

No biggie .. I love my hubby ... am I weird for even THINKING of these things?!?!??!?!?!

Wordless Wednesday

Frustration

I only get a few nights out, away from my boys, every few months or so. I plan ahead, grab a babysitter and enjoy my evening.

I called last week to secure my babysitter for this coming Friday evening, when I have tickets for a play with some girlfriends. I get a phone call LAST night stating that her Mom said she couldn't watch the boys.

That gave me less than 3 days to find someone to give me a break ... a night out. EVERYONE that has done it in the past, or could do it is busy (of course - in the REAL world, people have PLANS, fun things to do with their time). ME? I will probably have to cancel AGAIN ....

I am so bummed. This deployment has finally started to really wear at me. When do I get my time? When do I get to concentrate on ME for over 30 seconds??? I am tired of being last on my list.

I feel so sad I am holding back the tears as I write this. I look forward to my girls' nights ... I don't get too many of them these days. Do I not deserve a break?

I love our Lord, but once again, I wonder why He cannot give me an easy time for a while. Still no full nights sleep, and now I cannot even have a night out????

What did I do to someone in my life to have Him so pissed off at me ......

Guess I should end my pity party now ... time to go home and take care of the little people.

Pray Pray Pray

This election could be very bad for what God would want to have happen in our worls (see previous posts) ... All we can do now is pray that people will do the RIGHT thing in their voting booths ....

Tenderness

So ... in the midst of the chaos, called "my life," there are a few moments here and there that I really do treasure.

I took my parents to the airport yesterday and on teh way home Joshua was supposed to stay awake (so I could actually get a nap for them and work done for me when we returned home). He did a good job ... and kept telling me so!!!!

he took a nap shortly after 2. He woke up around 4 and I knew we only had about 45 minutes of light left (damn time change) and it was still around 70 degrees. He was thrilled.

I put little j in his push car and Big J played soccer and hide and go seek. Right before we were going in we decided to take a walk around our street.

Big J went to grab my hand and then stopped and said, "stop Mommy stop!!!!" I stopped. He didn't take my hand, he positioned little j's hand and held onto it through the entire walk.

When we were done he bent down, hugged little j and said, "I love that you are my brother." ......

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................