Lent turns into Easter ... with some bumps along the way.

If you have gotten anything out of my blog thus far, you should probably note that I am a fairly religious person. While I make mistakes (my potty mouth, my easily triggered anger, my opinions that can be downright rude), I really do try to do the right thing.


I actually am trying to use Lent for what it was really for- a cleansing. And Easter - a renewal. I am trying to curb that potty mouth and that temper.


I was truly tested this past week - actually right at the very start of the Holy Triduum, Holy Thursday.


In March, I asked E if we could have Easter at our house this year and he agreed. Lately we have been going to my Grandma's and I knew he would want to stick around this year. He asked his mom and sister, about a month ago, and they agreed as well. I said that dinner would be around 2:00, since neither one of them attend church and I didn't want to have to rush through our real reason we celebrate on that day.


Earlier last week, both MIL and SIL called to see what they should bring and everything was set. I did my grocery shopping, had my menu set and knew that on Holy Thursday I would begin my Easter prep.


As E and the boys and I were sitting at dinner on Thursday evening, the phone rang with the MIL's number on the caller ID. E answered. FIL proceeded to tell him that he would not be coming on Easter, as he found out that he had a broken rib and the doctor told him not to go anywhere (????????). He also then told E that we probably should just cancel Sunday because SIL and her fiance weren't coming either (once again: ?????????).


E got off the phone and he was puzzled. I was pissed. This was typical of his family ... and cancel Eater Sunday - whatever!!!!!


E calls MIL who appears to be stupefied about SIL and irritated at FIL for saying anything, she had still been planning on coming.


E then called SIL and the family fight began.


SIL said that she and fiance were starting a home improvement project that very evening (floors and walls) and thought that if they had gotten on a roll and Sunday rolled around, they would rather cancel with us so they could finish. She figured she would just call on Saturday eve or Sunday morning and let us know.


E unleashed on her (I was able to hear his end of the conversation). He told her how completely class-less this was. How could she even imagine it was OK to call someone who had been planning a special meal, the night before/morning of, and cancel. He told her that I was already starting to prepare food and that this wasn't just some cookout or casual dinner - this was Easter Sunday and it was important to our family. She started in about how I never truly invited her, which meant that it wasn't that important, blah, blah, blah and he cut her off. He let her know that he was disappointed in the fact that she used to go to church and value things like that until her fiance came into the picture. He told her that he didn't want to explain to his kids, who were basically gong to be spending the next 4 days in church, that their Aunt was cancelling on Easter because she was doing home improvement with her fiance who "doesn't believe in that religious stuff." She said a few more things, he then told her that he didn't care (which upset her even more) and he hung up.
I was fuming. FUMING. She tried to throw me under the bus! She "didn't get an invitation??????" Since when did we do anything formal in this family?!?!
E told me to continue with my plans and we would be better off without them. He called his Mom and told her that we would have our Easter meal as a family and if it worked out, we would bring them some desserts that afternoon. So, I went on with my business.
I took Big J with me to Holy Thursday adoration. It was cathartic. When we got back I finished some more cooking and watched the end of the Blackhawks game.
On Good Friday, I continued my cooking and took both boys to the Passion service at church. It was moving and exactly what I needed to remind me why we were preparing meals and Easter baskets in the first place!
When we returned from church there was a message from SIL asking E to call her because "they both had said things they didn't mean." I thought to myself, yes, you said things you may not have meant, but E meant every word he said.
The boys and I met E for our Good Friday pizza and then went home to color Easter eggs. He tried calling SIL back, but had to leave a message.
Saturday morning, I took the boys to Easter Food Blessing at church, a Polish tradition that I can remember participating in since I could walk. The boys loved it. E was working on painting our garage that day, so I continued my Easter prep, took Big J to baseball practice, watched the Bulls blow Game 4, and started to look at my schedule for Sunday. I realized there was no way possible to make it down to see his parents .... by the time our ham was done in the oven, sliced and on the table, it would be 2:00 at best. We would never make it to their house before 4:00 .... and we had school/work the following day, and, a Blackhawks game that evening at 6:30. He agreed and called MIL. She said they were still going to try to make it. I wasn't going to hold my breath.
That evening, I met my girlfriends for dinner and then I went, all by myself, to the Easter Vigil. I loved every second of it. It was so peaceful, so refreshing. Watching six people choose to become Catholic and seeing the joy on their faces brought me to tears.It was an incredible way for me to start my Easter celebration. Thank God I planned on going .... I could not have asked for anything better.
When I returned home, E told me that SIL finally called back. She said she was sorry and she didn't realize that Easter was so important to us (?????). She said she would try to make it but would call in the morning to let us know. E said that he never apologized. :)
After that, I grabbed a glass of wine, got out the boys Easter baskets and enjoyed knowing Lent was over and Easter season had begun.
Sunday morning was spent watching the boys dive into candy and puzzles, attending church and coming home to get dinner prepared.
MIL called around noon to say that they definitely were not coming. SIL never called.
My girlfriend came and joined E, the boys and I for a wonderful Easter dinner: orange glazed ham, grilled Polish sausage, Polish wedding noodles, lemon green beans, citrus glazed carrots, Spring pea salad, Spring green jello salad, Tri-color pound cake, Lamb cake and Lemonade Fluff (oh yea, and some of our blessed Chardonnay!!!!!). Around 3:00 I was stuffed, exhausted and ready to chill.
My girlfriend left, E and I took the boys out back and played tag. By 6:00, both boys had passed out and E and I sat on the couch and watched the Hawks win their third game in a row to bring on a Game 7.
All in all, it was a very blessed Easter weekend. I still feel like I can continue my mission to become a better person in God's eyes .... I still feel the joy from that Easter Vigil. Which is why, this whole MIL/SIL/E thing really hasn't bothered me. What needs to happen will happen .... I know that our family will do what God wants ... and that is all that matters to me.

Happy Easter!

Stop!!!!!

Starting to wonder if the world has started spinning faster than usual. I have consistently been feeling like my day has been shortened by an hour, at minimum.
Really .... what is going on? I used to be able to call a friend, respond to email, update a blog ... but lately, I am out of control. I am forgetful. I am forever adding things to my to-do list but never subtracting any!
I will be in the, driving the car, kneeling at church and suddenly remembering something I completely forgot to do.
I feel like I neglect my friends, my family, my job .... me.
Anyone else feel this way????

Peace.

My parents came to visit this past weekend. I am always so nervous before they visit because I never know how E will behave. Past visits have been ruined with comments made, insults thrown, or just rude behavior on E's part. Many nights have been spent fighting in loud whispers, so my Mom and Dad wouldn't hear, with me usually ending up in tears. My Mom and E are like oil and water (yet, they are so much alike). They just love to pick on each other, but neither one feels like they do anything wrong to the other. E thinks she is opinionated (she is ... but she is my Mother). She thinks E is self-centered and rude (he is ... but his is my Husband). My Mom is a staunch Catholic. E loves to tell people why that is wrong. My Mom loves the Bucs and Rays. E thinks the only team on Earth is the Bears and loves to shove that down people's throats. My Mom likes to be my mom. E thinks they treat me like a child. In the end, as excited as I get to see my parents, I am also anxious as hell. This weekend was such a wonderful blessing, I can hardly explain how I felt. E hung out with us. My Mom never made a comment or remark. We discussed sports, life, politics and I never heard a complaint from E as a laid my head to rest each night. We watched basketball together, went out to dinner together .... we had fun. As I was driving them back to the airport on Monday morning my Mom told me that she really enjoyed the visit and that she and my Dad both noticed that E was more relaxed on this visit and he was a joy (a joy?!?!?!?!?) to be around. E said he felt the same way. Glory glory hallelujah! We are all going down to Florida in May to attend my nephew's Baptism ...and for the first time in years, I am not nervous to have E join us on this trip. Prayers work ... they just take time ... and I will continue to pray that things only get better from here!

Nevermind ....

So, remember my cryptic post about a week ago? Never mind - false alarm. A little over a week ago I started noticing a lot of cramping - it was still about 10 until my period (I operate like clockwork, I might as well be on the Pill), so I knew it wasn't that. I also noticed that I was extremely exhausted, my boobs ached all the time, I woke up nauseous and I was bloating like never before. What would you think it was?? Yep, I even looked up and saw that my due date would have been December 9. Rather than being a rational (and smart) woman, and going to get an early test, I just kept things to myself and waited for my period to show or not show. So what did I do while I waited? Worried, planned, counted down, practiced how I would tell people, mourned the loss of alcohol for the next 9 months, planned my maternity leave (got excited that I would have all of Christmas at home ... but then got depressed when I thought I would spend the Winter months stuck inside with an infant), and worried about how things would work since I had new Tricare insurance but still wanted to keep my old doctor. Well, sitting in my office last Wednesday (still five days early for my expected period) evening I felt a really large cramp and noticed a bit of blood. Still in my "I am pregnant" mode, I thought, some bleeding is normal. Woke up the next morning and realized, I am not pregnant. I am assuming it was my period since it lasted for about five days. Part of me was relieved - I just got little j into underpants, we changed the baby room into a toy room, I am ten pounds away from my goal weight and I am starting to enjoy the fact that the boys are becoming more and more self-sufficient. The other part of me was sad - no little person to hold and love, little j won't become a big brother, no 12 week maternity leave (hey! no rolling of the eyes ... there should be some benefit to the mommy!) .... I wonder if I am ready for a third or if I am ready to say that I call it quits. E wants two more (he is cracked in the head) and I promise that will not happen. I believe that God has a plan for everyone. I don't believe in birth control, so it is up to me and Him to head down the path chosen for me. We shall see what happens from here ... but for now, it is me and E and the two boys ...