OMG ... I leave for Florida in less than 24 hours! For 2 weeks ... and if one more person asks me why I have so much vacation time - I think I will burn them at the stake.
I have vacation time because I have worked my ass off for this company for 10 freaking years. I have not job-hopped and have been rewarded with vacation time. It is one of the only perks with this place!!! SO ...
back off people ... I am vacation!!!!
Still waiting on my nose to stop running and my head to clear up. I know take Vitamin B12, D, C and zinc supplements, as well as Omega 3 and Probiotics that would kick any bacteria's ass.
Let's see if this can all get me healthy ... I am tired of being tired. And my nose feels like someone took a nail file to it (and I use the lotion kleenex!).
On another note ... the boys are healthy. I have them both on Omega 3's and probiotics as well. So far ... so good!!!
So, I am sick, again. I have been sick pretty much consistently since September 1. I was in the awful office, again, yesterday (weird, maybe its a pattern with that place ... maybe I am allergic... would that be a reason to quit? Could I get worker's comp??? LOL!)
As I sat in my cubicle I felt the sniffles come on. Then, the sneezing. I thought it was last week's lingering illness, but this one started to hit me with all of its might.
By the time I got on the train, my nose was running nonstop and I couldn't stop sneezing. I was with the boys at Taco Tuesday and the body aches kicked in.
I took a nighttime cold medicine, and slept. And slept. I turned the alarm off at 5:30 ... Spin was NOT in my agenda today. Little j woke up at 6:45 and I had to get up. I felt like I was walking around in a cloud of dust. I was exhausted.
I took both boys to school at 8:00 and came back and crashed on the couch for about an hour. Luckily, I didn't have to be at work until 11:00 today. I still feel like crap.
More than likely, its the flu. But, I cannot go get any more antibiotics ... seriously, I think that is what has hurting my body more than help it. SO, I will kick this sucker naturally ... vitamins, supplements, water and sleep (when the kids let me).
I thought long and hard about this flu thing. I have never gotten a flu shot. My kids have never gotten a flu shot. I hate shots ... and I have heard of so many people getting sick right after the shot that I would rather take my chances getting sick on my own.
I also am very wishy washy on what I believe as far as modern medicine and holistic medicine. I see the good aspects of both.
We went to a chiropractor a few years back, when I was preggo with Big J. E loved him ... everything the guy said was like this brilliant hypothesis. I met him and felt like I was drinking the kool aid.
He took a history of me ... and then told me why I have issues. How dare my mother have a C-section, it lead to my weight gain. My mother didn't breast feed ... lead to my ear infections ... blah, blah, blah.
After I had Big J and came back and told him that I had an emergency C-Section, he was appalled. Then I told him that I was bottle feeding! Ha! He didn't believe in vaccines and was one of the ones that gets a waiver signed for his children to not get them. He also claimed that no one in his family gets sick, ever. I say .. hogwash.
But ... even though I found him to be a quack, there were some things that he made me think about. We put so much stuff into our bodies these days. Chemicals from food, pollution, etc ... maybe we need to start taking care of our insides a little better and then we wouldn't need so many vaccines.
Now, I am not one to go on believing that my kids will get autism from a vaccine ... I have my Mommy fears, but I just don't beleive that it is the case. Some of these vaccines are important. An outbreak of measles or mumps could be much more deadly than a flu outbreak. I just don't believe in shooting my babies up with stuff that we just don't know about, or, quite frankly, don't really need!!!!
My girlfriend sent me this letter from her pediatrician that solidified my decision:
SWINE FLU UPDATE
The news media and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) continue to whip the public into a frenzy about H1N1 influenza. Unfortunately we have precious little data available to help us make rational decisions about what we should do. Meanwhile on the news we see lines of people, blocks long, queuing up at clinics for many hours to get the H1N1 vaccine. Most of them are turned away when the supply runs out. Why don’t we just calm down and ponder some facts.
The flu season has ended in the southern hemisphere and we know that the cases of H1N1 there have been relatively mild.
Here in Lake County, only hospitalized patients are being tested for the H1N1 virus. There is no readily available test to specifically diagnose H1N1. Therefore people with influenza like symptoms are assumed to have H1N1, not confirmed by laboratory testing. We can test for influenza A and B in the office, but this test doesn’t specifically identify H1N1. Therefore we don’t really know how many cases there are. The number of cases quoted in the media is probably being greatly overestimated. Running sensational news about H1N1 generates more viewers and readers. This news also satisfies the pharmaceutical industry that is among the media’s largest advertisers. Think about all those “Ask Your Doctor About [DRUG NAME]” ads that run during the news programs.
The deaths that are being reported are mostly a result of bacterial pneumonia, not directly a result of influenza. As always, cases of bacterial pneumonia should be treated swiftly and aggressively.
We in the medical community do not have access to the medical histories of the patients who have become very ill or have died after contracting H1N1. Therefore we are currently unable to identify those individuals who are at the highest risk. We are told that pregnant women and young children are more susceptible to complications, but we know that most pregnant women and children who catch the flu recover without incident.
The H1N1 vaccine was rushed into production and released without the usual clinical testing required of most drugs. Presently the vaccine has been in use for only two weeks. Since it is being administered in schools, public health clinics, and drug stores, there is no vaccine adverse event reporting system to which doctors who administer vaccines are required to report. If adverse events occur, it will take longer for us to hear about them.
Because the government has declared a “public health emergency”, the pharmaceutical companies that manufacture the vaccines have been granted immunity from product liability lawsuits resulting from this vaccine. Then what pressure do they now face to produce a safe product? We know the sales of the H1N1 vaccine alone are expected to top $1.5 billion, in addition to the $1 billion already booked for the seasonal flu vaccine. These vaccines are part of a wider and rapidly growing $20 billion global vaccine market. When that much money is involved there can be political meddling involved in creating medical mandates for the vaccine.
There are two versions of the H1N1 vaccine. The nasal spray contains live viruses that a person will harbor in their nasal passages for weeks after inoculation. These viruses can be passed on to others they contact. The injectable form of the vaccine comes in multiple dose vials and is preserved with thimerosal, which contains mercury, a known neurotoxin.
Some doctors are recommending Tamiflu, an anti-viral drug to be given within 40 hours of the onset of influenza symptoms to lessen the severity or duration of symptoms. Since 99.9% of flu sufferers make an uneventful recovery anyway, the wisdom of using Tamiflu is questionable. A few years after its approval by the FDA, 25 people under the age of 21 were reported to have died while using Tamiflu. Around 600 reports came in about abnormal behavior, hallucinations, and convulsions in people between the ages of 10 and 19 who were taking this oral neuraminidase inhibitor. (Most of these took place in Japan, where these medicines are much more widely used.) In two separate instances, a 12-year-old and a 13-year-old jumped out of a second-floor window after taking Tamiflu; others fell from windows or balconies or ran into traffic.
I am not opposed to all vaccines. During my lifetime I have witnessed vaccines conquer deadly and debilitating diseases such as smallpox, polio, tetanus, and HIB infant meningitis. Just because some is good, doesn’t mean that a lot is better. I question whether immunizations should be promoted for all illnesses regardless of their severity. We do not have adequate information about the long-term effects of mass immunizing against the less serious diseases such as chicken pox, HPV virus, and influenza.
The natural way that healthy people achieve immunity is by being exposed to viruses or bacteria in their environment. The pathogen enters the nose or the mouth. The body then fights the infection by mounting an antibody response. The antibody response is memorized and upon future exposure to that that pathogen, the antibodies respond quickly to prevent a repeat infection. Injecting viral proteins with a needle into the body for the purpose of creating an antibody response is not nature’s original method of creating immunity. We know that vaccine induced antibodies tend to “wear off”; whereas community acquired infections can create lifelong immunity. I predict that those individuals, who get an annual flu shot, have much poorer immunity to new strains of influenza such as H1N1, than those who opt out of annual vaccination.
At the present time I am planning not to carry influenza vaccines in my office. They will be widely available in our community at local drug stores, schools, and county clinics. Those with chronic health problems or suppressed immunity are more at risk for suffering complications from influenza. For these people immunizing may offer a measure of protection. For healthy people, remember the following immunity boosting advice:
Use the neti pot with warm salt-water solution regularly after all public contacts. The neti pot irrigates the nasal passages and removes some of the bacteria and viruses breathed in during the day. This will reduce the viral load with which your immune system has to cope.
Maintain adequate vitamin D levels. Most of us are deficient in vitamin D during the winter due to the lack of sunlight exposure on our skin.
Eat a diet adequate in protein. Avoid sugar, starchy carbohydrates, and omega-6 polyunsaturated vegetable oils from soybeans, corn, and safflower. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Supplement with a high quality ultra-refined fish oil.
Get adequate sleep. We require more sleep in the winter when the nights are longer.
Get some moderate regular exercise.
Take a probiotic to help maintain a favorable internal microbial balance.
Wash your hands before eating.
What should you do if despite of your excellent health habits, you still feel yourself becoming ill? Here are some suggestions for natural remedies:
Before the discovery of antibiotics, doctors used colloidal silver extensively as an antimicrobial agent. It is still useful, and unlike antibiotics it treats viruses too, without encouraging the growth of resistant microorganisms. Try 1 teaspoon of a 10 ppm solution, three times daily at onset of symptoms.
Echinacea, an herbal remedy.
Oscillococcinum, a homeopathic remedy - take every 4 hours at onset of symptoms.
High doses of vitamin C, starting at 3 grams daily.
Suck on zinc lozenges
Go to bed earlier and get some extra sleep.
You can use your neti pot up to 4 times daily if you feel yourself becoming ill.
Oil of oregano 4 drops, held under the tongue for a few minutes, followed by a glass of water. Repeat several times throughout the day.
For further information about this subject, visit these links:
http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/virusfighters.html a nice list of flu remedies from Virginia Hopkins, the assistant to the late John Lee, M.D.
http://elvovemd.com/december-2004-newsletter.htm#news2 a newsletter article I wrote about strengthening the immune system.
http://swineflu.mercola.com/sites/swineflu/home.aspx an in-depth analysis of swine flu by Dr. Joseph Mercola, a well-known local natural health physician.
I am definitely going to try some of these ideas, and, some, of have already been doing. Maybe, just maybe, I can have an illness free week someday soon!
To the lady that got all pissy with me the other day while in line Target:
A big EFF YOU! When I have been in line for 15 minutes behind a gazillion people and a new register opens up and they say next customer, you bet your big fat sweet butt that I am moving, since I was the next customer in line. I do not feel that I owe you any apologies for stepping in front of your over-flowing cart that just showed up and tried to butt in front of me and my 3 items. So, your nasty look and your heavy breathing did not make me feel bad. Really, it just made me a bit more thankful that I have manners and would have let you step in front of me if the roles were reversed! Get over it lady .....
To the managers at Dominicks:
I have been shopping at your store for almost ten years now. I tell people that I like your store way better than Jewel, but I do not think I can say that any longer. Is there a reason that you refuse to get your freezers replaced? For 5 weeks straight you have had at least 50% of your freezers cleaned out because they are on the fritz, causing me to have to go to Jewel to finish my shopping. Not so much fun when you have a 4 year old and toddler in tow!!! So, my dear Dominicks managers, get your store fixed before I become a Jewel girl!
To the hiring managers that really do not think:
If I offend someone, sorry (well, no, not sorry ... this is my blog and I will tell you what I think ...period) ... I do not want some gay dude helping me pick out women's underwear, women's skirts ... or anything that touches my body. Are there not enough men's stores to find jobs at? Seriously ... go away. Leave me alone. Let the nice lady help me find lady stuff ...... And, if they aren't gay, why would a dude want to work at Victoria's Secret or The Limited, anyway??
To the men who make the bras:
I know you are men, I know there is not one woman out there who designs these suckers. I went to Victoria's Secret the other day (where I encountered one of the first dudes that was working in a "lady" store) and got measured .... holy boobs batman!!!!! Yeah, VS doesn't make bras that fit my boobs. Ever try and find a freaking 34 DDD (yes, 34 DDD) in a store and not look like you put on your 95 year old grandmother's bra? Ugh. Seriously ladies ... can some creative designer please make a bra that fits and looks good? Is that really to much to ask????
To the marketing world in general:
Honestly, I know we all want to make as much money as we can, but do we really need to have Christmas decorations displayed before we even go trick or treating? I seriously start to feel completely overwhelmed in your stores when I feel like I am two months behind on everything I do. Please RISE UP and become the first store that actually keeps up with the calendar! I bet there would be a few people who would be happy about that!
We took the little guys trick or treating on Saturday.
It is amazing to me the joy that simple acts can bring to your life. It is amazing to me how watching my two guys can bring back a flood of memories from my past.
Remembering the friends I walked with, the Dads that took us ... the weeks that it seemed went by before the last few candy bars were eaten.
Now, I watch as my kids go door to door. As their Dad holds their hands and leads them up stoops and around other kids. I watch as they eat the vegetable soup I cooked all morning, the same way my Mom wouldn't let us leave the house without eating a bowl full of her creation every year.
Little j took right to the whole thing ... walking up to the doors, carrying his own bucket and holding it out to get the goodies. Big J was the voice of the operation, loud "trick or treats" and lots of "thank yous."
We lasted for about and hour and a half before Big J's hands were freezing and little j had so much snot running into his mouth that he probably was no longer hungry for dinner!
We stopped at 2 friends' houses to say hello before heading back to our place for a family Halloween "party." Meatballs, buffalo chicken dip (OMG - my FAVORITE), hot dogs ... and huge spread to show the kids that Mommy really does love them and wants them to remember these things when they take their kids out for Halloween some day!
Big J - my Cowboy!
Our family: me- the sorority girl, E - the construction worker, Big J - the cowboy and little j - the farmer
Mommy and her Cowboy
Wow ... has it really been that long since I wrote anything???? Life hasn't been that boring, I haven't been "non-opinionated," basically, I just haven't had the time!
So, random thoughts (in no particular order)
My boss is a dickhead.
I am sick of these grey, rainy days. Seriously, I can maybe count on my one hand the amount of times the sun has been out in the past month!
How much snot can truly come out of a 19-month old's head? He isn't that big, so shouldn't the snot run dry at some point?
Why did I put my son in a good white T-shirt 2 hours before we took Great-Grandma to an Italian restaurant?
Why is it that when you are woken up at 2:00 am you could actually get out of bed and do stuff because you feel refreshed; but, when your alarm goes off at 5:30 to go workout or get to work you feel like you haven't slept in weeks?
Does little j really need to call out from his crib every time he cannot find his pacifier (I know ... get rid of it all together, but that is a battle I am not ready for yet!)? I put an extra one right by his head every night ... and every time I go in there to help him, it is still sitting where I left it!
I thought wives did the nagging and husbands did the complaining about it. Why, in my house, is it the opposite? Seriously dear husband, leave me alone before I explode!
Halloween is on Saturday. The boys' school party is tomorrow. time to put the finishing touches on their costumes. And time to get my mouth tied shut. Here is a mathematics problem for you:
Me + Halloween Candy - Willpower = BIG FAT THIGHS, BUTT, TUMMY + guilt!
Big J ate his vegetables 2 days in a row without being asked. Yahoo Mountain Dew!!!! Can this become a streak?
Thanks to my sister, I have a few pages created on my website already. I have been at a stall with working on it, but I feel good that it actually exists!
I love my Monday and Wednesday Spin classes. I haven't made it to a Friday class in over a month. Do I really think that my weight will continue to disappear if I don't make it to the gym? Let's fix that math problem again:
Me + Halloween Candy - Willpower - gym = big fat thighs, butt, tummy + guilt
I need a girl's night out. Any takers? ;)
We have all been sick in our house. Big J had a massive fever on Saturday and looked like death. Little j had the fever on Friday but never looked that bad. Both boys are better. Me? I feel like shit. But, I have to work and take care of the kids and house so ... no rest for me.
I went to the ND game this past Saturday with my Uncles ... had a great time, but froze my ass off. Wish my Dad could have been there as well ...
Did I mention that my boss is a dickhead? Let's reformulate that problem again:
Me + Candy - Willpower - gym + obnoxious boss = one big, fat, guilt-filled BITCH!!!
I am sure we have all heard descriptions in our novels about fog rolling in. We have all pictured the scene in our heads hundreds, if not thousands (depending on how much you read!), of times.
You know, there is a field, cemetery, house, street, etc and as the person looks out into the distance they can see the fog, thick as pea soup, creeping ever closer to where they are. In your head you can just see this mass of blackness rolling towards this person and you can imagine the air getting thick and damp.
Well, the fog is rolling in and it is thick, damp and depressing.
Every year, I try and get myself psyched for the end of Summer, Fall and start of (cough, cough) Winter.
Every year I think about the good things that come with this time of year, pumpkin patches, football, batches of chili, Halloween, Thanksgiving, hot chocolate after a cool evening spent running around in the yard.
Those things are all so picturesque and nice, but they don't stop the dread and blahness that encompasses me.
Every year, it seems our Summers abruptly end and we get Fall like a slap on the back. Lately, though, we have skipped right over the Fall season and headed straight for Winter.
We have hit 18 days significantly below normal temperatures. It is gray and rainy most of the time. It has been too cold and damp to let the boys play outside. There is no outlook for things to even reach normal in the near future.
So, again, I try and think about the positives. Those positives quickly escape my head as dread and sadness creeps in. You see, I have been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or, less frequently, in the summer,[1] spring or fall, repeatedly, year after year. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), SAD is not a unique mood disorder, but is "a specifier of major depression".[2]
The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up."[3] The condition in the summer is often referred to as Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, and can also include heightened anxiety.[4]
There are many different treatments for classic (winter-based) seasonal affective disorder, including light therapy with bright lights, anti-depression medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, ionized-air administration,[5] and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin.[6]
Symptoms of SAD may consist of: difficulty waking up in the morning, tendency to oversleep as well as to overeat, and especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimism, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder.
Just like that fog rolling in in the novels we read, I have felt this ickiness creeping into my head over the past few days.
I am tired, cranky and sad most of the time. I have no desire to get anything done. I have a sudden urge to eat and eat and eat, all while telling myself how I should stop and it won't make me feel any better.
I am irritated with my husband (why is it that HE gets to sleep in while I have to take care of the boys after getting only 4 hours sleep due to Little j screaming from midnight till 1:30?). I am irritated with work (more so than usual, can that even be?). My zest for waking up in the morning to go to Spin has completely disappeared and my snooze button has become my best friend.
I am sad. I am bummed. I am lonely.
I drive on, as I always do .... but seriously, this stuff ... this SAD ... it exists. It isn't bullshit. It isn't an excuse to complain or sleep. It feels awful. It sucks. It feels like I am completely out of control of my own emotions.
Hopefully, things will get brighter here and there, and Winter will come and go .... and soon I will be back to flip flops, baseball and mowing the lawn.
I was sitting with a client at my desk this afternoon. I leaned over to get a form out of a drawer and this is what she says, "oh my, I could fit 4 of my legs in one of yours."
W.T.F?????
Are you kidding me?
First off, you have diarrhea of the mouth, you dumb broad. Second, eff you. Third, do you really think I don't know this?
As I have stated in my previous pots, I have been "blessed" with legs that have been passed though generations of people on my Dad's side of the family. They are short and big ... great if you are a football playing dude ... pathetic if you are a girl trying to look lady-like in skirts.
I have spent my entire life listening to comments about my calves, thighs, legs, etc. There have been a few times where these comments were flattering, but, mostly, they have sucked.
Just yesterday, as I was getting ready to go Downtown for my all day meeting (YUCK!), I was perplexed as to what to wear, as I was feeling especially plumped out. I have been to Spin sporadically in the past few weeks due to flu's, colds, sleepless nights with children, and freakin all day meetings. Thankfully I put on a skirt that I thought wouldn't fit and it zipped right up ... must have been more mental than anything, but, still ......
Do some people really not get that they should keep their mouths closed? Do people really think that what they say doesn't matter? If I told everyone exactly what I thought ... geesh, let's not even GO there!
I am getting back on the Spin wagon tomorrow (NOT because of this woman ... I was planning on doing so anyway ... it was simply "good" timing). I don't have to come into the office AGAIN, as previously planned (YEAH!), so I have NO excuse.
E has been talking about trying for a 3rd at the end of the year .... I told him that the only way that I will do so is if I lose HALF of what I wanted to, and that would be 15 pounds.
So ... here we go again!
Oh yea ... remember my goal for last week? No? It was to choose a web host site ... I did, and I am currently constructing my website. New goal this week? Finish 2 pages of the site!!!!
Spent the morning talking/lecturing Big J on his sleep issues lately. A four year old needs more sleep than he is getting.
Once Summer hit, I pushed his bed time from 8 to 9 ... it gave us time to play outside, eat a late meal, and quite frankly, it wasn't dark at 8:00 for him to even be ready to sleep.
Lately, a 9:00 bedtime ends up being 9:45, with ME being more exhausted than he! I have tried starting our routine (which has not changed in two years) at 8:45, 8:30, shoot, even 8:15 ... nothing has seemed to help. He whines that he isn't tired, has to go tell Daddy "one more thing," and shuffles around the bathroom before getting his teeth brushed. It is always one more glass of water, one more hug or one more time to go pee.
He also cannot seem to let us leave his room without starting to cry and asking us to "stay with him." It pulls at your heart strings, but for his sake, and ours, he has to get to bed and start giving us Mommy and Daddy time again.
He also has been whining about taking his naps, both at school and at home. I understand that some kids give up their naos around his age, but, when your child is a nasty, cranky ball of tears by 4:30 ... he still needs a nap.
so, this kid, who no longer naps and who is probably finally falling asleep around 10:00 is finding is way into our bed on an almost nightly basis. I have tried saying no, having him stay for only a few minutes ... but he always end up remaining in the bed until morning. This wouldn't be that big of a deal, but when I am waking up to go work out at 5:30 or get up for work at 5:45 ... he decides it is time for him to be awak too. This means my 4 year old is getting, on average, 7 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period.
Not good for him or me.
Anyone have any good advice? Suggestions? Ways for me to keep from having a mental breakdown because now my husband feels that it is time to have a 3rd .... SHIT! I cannot get my first and second to sleep thought the night and you want me to add a THIRD?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?! Sweetie ... you best start dreaming!!!!!
I normally avoid the taste testing tables at Costco ... either I don't like what they are sampling, or I don't want to try it for fear of really liking it and knowing I shouldn't buy it.
The last time I was shopping, in the sanck section, they were sampling these:
I tried a few and liked them. I checked the nutrtional info and they weren't too bad. All natural. No trans fat. No preservatives. Only 135 calories in each bag. I thought about the kids and knowing how much they like having snacks I thought these might be a nice switch from crackers or chips.
I bought a box and they have seemed to enjoy them. Well, today I brought a bag. These were the Rosemary/Olive Oil version. YUMMY!!!!!!! Such a nice change from baked chips. I think I will be buying these on a consistant basis!
