A clean slate

I went to Confession on Saturday. I haven't been in about a year.

While some people despise the Sacrament, I actually enjoy it. I feel like it is my cleansing diet. I feel refreshed. My soul feels clear.

My problem though? My anger and stress and overwhelmedness doesn't help me create an atmosphere to keep my soul refreshed.

I feel that if I had more time to myself, more help at home, less work to do, less feeling like I am being pulled by six limbs (when I only have four!) I would actually be able to keep that cleansed feeling.

So ... I continue to work on things.

I continue to try and keep my potty mouth clean (so not easy to do) and I feel like I am losing that battle.

I continue to try and relax and breathe deep when I have to ask the boys to do something for the 915th time.

I continue to try and lay off of the horn when I am driving behind some a-hole who appears to not know the difference between the brake pedal and the gas pedal.

I continue to try and maintain my patience when running errands and dealing with customer service reps who don't know the definition of "customer service."

I continue trying ... and I think that is all I can do ... and all God asks .... I hope.

Get a clue people!

So, I have another beef with my husband's side of the family (seems like a pattern lately, right?).

Every year his grandmother hosts a Christmas party on the Saturday before Christmas. Most years, with the exceptions of the ones that I am down in Florida, we try and make it.

The past few years his aunt has been hosting them because grandma is no longer able to handle everything on her own.

There is usually a gift exchange among the children (we don't participate in the adult exchange, these people are nuts - another story for another day) and the standard buffet of food.

Well, I have been bugging E for a few weeks to call someone to find out if this party was going on this year (we had heard nothing) and, if so, was there going to be a gift exchange and would I have to bring a dish. My life is too crazy right now to be told 2 days in advance about this sort of stuff.

Anyway ... my husband tells me last night that, yes, the party is being held this coming Saturday.

Here is the kicker: I am to bring a 7 layer salad and home baked cookies.

Why am I irritated?

Well, first, he had to call his mom to find out about the party. I have never been sent an email, invite ... nothing.

Second, who the eff tells people specifically what to bring to a party? ... Um, yes, Sally, please bring the Mustard and Maple Glazed chicken with roasted carrots on the side ... seriously? Tell me you need me to bring a salad and let me choose a recipe that fits into the time I have to prepare it!

Third, home baked cookies? Up yours. I am struggling to find time in my schedule to make cookies for my family, let alone, other peoples'. With only four days notice, you aren't getting any cookies. I am going to be a scrooge.

Fourth, if you wanted all of this shit, call people ahead of time! If E had never called his mom I can guarantee, just like last year, I would have received an email two days before the party telling me what to bring.

Seriously folks, can we please gain some etiquette and class ... soon ... please?

Am I the crazy one???

My SIL said that she really wanted to host Christmas this year. OK. I hosted Thanksgiving. Pulled out the china, prepared two, yes two, turkeys, because I thought people would eat. I only asked my SIL to bring sweet potatoes ... that's it.
Forward to this morning. I got an email from SIL. It read:

"I am making meatballs for an appetizer. Can you bring the ham. We will keep it simple."

W.T.F. ???????
Really?
I am driving 45 minutes, with my two boys, to your house because you wanted to host Christmas dinner and I am bringing the effing main dish?!?!?!
Holy hell.
Next year I am flying to Florida .... I do not care how much it costs!!!!!!

Like I lost a family member

Rest in peace Ronnie.

Thanksgiving has left the building

Back at work already after a week off for Thanksgiving.

When did kids start getting the entire week off? I remember being at school until Wednesday ... I am telling you they get more days off than one could hope for!

We spent most of the week dealing with the norovirus ... or a more common term, the stomach flu. I had it at the beginning of the week, Big J had it for Thanksgiving, and E got it this past weekend.

So, most of my vacation was spent doing laundry along with cooking.

But, all in all, it was a nice holiday. Good food at least! ;)

Now ... onto preparing for Christmas!!!!

Our trip around the world

I used to belong to a Supper Club. I loved this activity. Every six weeks some girlfriends and I would rotate houses and host a dinner, cooked by us, from various regions or cuisines. It was always great company, and it got my cooking "bug" out of my system. (Cooking for 3 boys, each of whom, including the big one, can have various degrees of pickiness every night at dinner). About a year ago, due to many reasons, our Supper Club ended.
After a while I started to miss being adventurous in the kitchen. When I tried, I always had looks at the table as if to say, "really Mom, you want us to eat this?"
We also deal with dine a ditch syndrome at our house. I spend one hour cooking and preparing, the boys spend 10 minutes picking at food, shoving the forced stuff in their faces and then quickly leaving the table. It was really getting annoying.
So, I came up with a plan.
I made a bunch of slips of paper with names of countries, states, regions, etc on them. I placed these all in a pretty vase and every Sunday I have the two boys select a card each.
That week we cook from the cards, and Big J has to learn three things about the place, which we discuss at that dinner.
This has been a blast so far. We have all loved certain things ... and hated certain things. But, we have been learning and trying ... and I have been cooking!!!!
Give it a try in your home ... it is bound to start some conversations and challenge everyone to expand their culinary horizons!!!

Here are some of the evenings and menus we have had thus far:

New York: Turkey pastrami sandwiches and Manhattan Clam Chowder
New England: Corn Chowder and crab cakes and Fluffernutters for dessert
California: California Chicken burgers with guacamole and chips
Texas: Brisket, Texas Roadhouse green beans and french fries
Hawaii: Kalua Pulled Pork, Hawaiian coleslaw and pineapple pie
Soul Food: Baked "fried" chicken, greens, sweet potato fries
Thailand: Shrimp Curry, lemongrass soup
Japan: Chicken Stir Fry, California sushi rolls
Poland: European Chicken Noodle Soup, Cheese pierogis
American Indian: Cherokee Pepper Pot; Navajo Bread
Brazil: Fejoda
Chile: Picadillo and beef empandadas
Mexico: Chicken enchiladas
Jamaica: Jerk Chicken sandwiches with black beans

Checking in

I am not dead ... just busy.

Very. Very. Busy.

Cross that off

When do you actually finish a to-do list?



I mean, are we ever actually done? Is it sad that I actually put things like "sleep-in" or "paint nails" as tasks that I have to accomplish?



Is it even more sad that I have had "complete photo album" on my rotating list since 2003????



Am I a really bad mom since, also on the rotating list, is "finish baby books"? And when I mean finish, I mean, actually enter in when Big J started walking and little j was born???



Will I ever become a person who can sit down at the end of a long day and watch TV with the knowledge that the only stuff left on my to-do list is frivolous stuff?



Is it weird that I actually enjoy putting items on my list just so I can cross them off and feel like I did something that day?!??!?!



I think I will add "drink" on my list today .... I know that since it is the weekend, I will accomplish at least one task. And that is sssoooo much more fun than "clean the grout." Isn't it????

National Walk to School Day

Big J walked the entire mile and a half to school .. and was so excited when his principal and teachers met him on the way!!

I think it's a pretty cool day to "celebrate" ... beats National Doughnut Day!!!!

This isn't life?

During my junior year of high school the subject focused around social justice issues; death penalty, abortion, etc.



We were all required to watch the movie "The Silent Scream."



This movie changed my life and is the reason why I am pro-life.



You be the judge:



www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkD0PcIsM3U

The things they say ...

So, I took Big J to 5:00 Mass this week. It was the start of Respect Life month.

During the homily they had a speaker from the Respect Life office and she was talking about examples of pro-choice decisions society makes on a daily basis.

Big J asked what she was talking about and the conversation went something like this:

J: Why do you look like you are going to cry Mommy?"

Me: "Because people make dumb decisions and hurt poor babies and sick people."

J: "Isn't that why you don't like Obama ... cuz he hurts babies."

Me: "Yep."

J: "What is that called again?"

Me: "Abortion."

J: "What's an abortion?'

Oh dear ......

Me: "Well, it is when a lady decides she doesn't want to be pregnant any more, so she decides to kill the baby."

J: "How do they do that?"

Oh God ...

Me: "They stick something inside the Mommy to kill the baby."

J: "Does it hurt the Mom?"

Me: "Yes, it does."

J: "Does it hurt the baby?"

Me: "Yes, very much."

... seconds go by ...

Big J looks at me, puts his head on my arm and says: "I am sure glad you were happy to be pregnant."

Me: "Me too bud."

Of course I won't cheat!

I am getting excited ... Sunday is Halloween. I am not that into Halloween - we don't decorate our house like Christmas, I don't wear orange and black all month long, and I certainly don't go broke buying costumes and stuff for the boys.

So, what am I so giddy about? I get to go pillaging through the boys trick or treat bags for

C-A-N-D-Y

Of course, it won't be for a lot ... I will only waste my calories on stuff that I truly enjoy. So, for your reading pleasure, my favorites are as follows:

1. Butterfinger
2. Baby Ruth
3. Mounds (no one ever gives these out!)
4. Milk Duds
5. Snickers
6. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
7. Twizzlers

And the stuff I won't waste one calorie on? The ones that should have never been made are:
1. Peanut Butter Kisses (gag)
2. Mary Janes
3. Raisins (why? really ... why?)

4. Bit-O-Honey

5. Circus peanuts

6. single wrapped peppermints (do people just take handfuls from their neighborhood Italian place?)

7. Three Musketeers ... I just never liked them!

So ... what do you want to find in your kiddos' bags this year?!

Amen sister!

OK, this is exactly how I feel.

http://consumerist.com/2010/09/why-i-cant-make-mom-friends.html

I detest those Moms who think that everything they do or say to/with/for their children is the absolute. I have been around some of them ad it is excruciating.

You know the ones:
"Wow, I never give my children pop." (Never say never missy .... one day your child will be at a party and BAM! he is addicted to the shit).

"My children never watch TV, excerpt educational shows." (Well la-ti-freakin-da ... TV let me take showers, listen to conference calls, make dinner. I love TV. God bless the inventor. May your child never know the joy of laughing their ass off while watching You Gabba Gabba or The Backyardigans... mine do!)

"We teach our son how to speak Chinese." (That is great for you, you stinkin Commie ... GOD BLESS AMERICA! My kids learn the English language first and foremost!)

Seriously ladies ... get your heads out of your asses and realize that there is more than one way of being a good mom.

Have you ever ...

wanted to wring your husband's neck ???

Yeah ... thought so.

26 hours squeezed into 24 hour days

The whirlwind tour of school started last week

Wednesday was Big J's walk-through. We met his teacher, saw where he would put his backpack, looked around his room.

He enjoyed being there, he even asked if we could stay for a bit so he could play with some toys. We had paperwork to fill out anyway ... so we stayed. It was kind of cool when I overheard him saying to another little boy, "Hi, my name is "Big J', what's your name?" I was pleased that some of our teachings about manners and etiquette had paid off!

That evening we made Big J's favorite dinner: shrimp, and enjoyed some family time. We prepared his backpack, got his clothes laid out and by 8:00 he was in bed and snoring! ;)

I set my alarm on Thursday morning, even though I had taken the day off of work, to make sure I was up and ready to go for Big J. He beat me to the punch. Right after my alarm had gone off, there he was, dressed, teeth brushed and ready to go! I wondered if this would continue after the first day?!

I made him some pancakes, let him watch a Scooby-Doo and then little j, E, Big J and I all headed across the street to wait for the bus. Big J did great. little j, not so much.... he so badly wanted to go with his brother on the bus. I had to walk away and sit on the front step and watch Big J leave from afar since his brother was acting so badly. Once he stepped on to the bus ... that is when my tears started. I really didn't think I would cry ... I didn't feel it ... but, apparently, I needed to!

I spent the next few hours getting laundry done, getting the oil on my car changed (way, way, way overdue) and working out with little j counting everything down for me. Around 11:00 I started to clean up and prepare for the bus to drop Big J off at 11:51.

As we were walking out to wait for the bus, we noticed that there was a message on the machine. Apparently the note I wrote was misplaced and the school decided to send him to day care rather than home. Crap!!!!! Just what I needed on the very first day. So I left E at home, just in case they sent him home, and I high-tailed my ass over to day care, where a blotchy faced kid just got dropped off :( He was so excited to see me!!!!

The four of us went to Rainforest Cafe to celebrate the first day. He told us about recess and his school day and then we just had fun. We came home and he and I spent time painting a bird feeder he had gotten for his birthday and then we worked on Lego's .... I actually loved being a stay-at-home mommy; it felt incredible.

Friday was a different story altogether. I had to get to work early (so I could be back for the bus to drop off), so E took Big J to the bus. Big J cried hysterically, the same way he has been at day care for the last month or so. Great. Just what we need. E said he just kind of placed him on the bus and left ... what else could he do?

So, I waited for Big J after school and when the bus dropped him off ... little j did his happy dance and we all went inside to eat lunch. While we were waiting for the bus, day care called and wanted to make sure Big J was in the right place.

I called back. I got more info than I needed or wanted.

Apparently Big J and his friend, Alex (one of the boys that came to his birthday party that I could have done without) were arguing/playing/fighting on the bus and Big J somehow managed to give Alex a bloody nose. Great ... just what I need now! The last thing we need to deal with is getting our bus rights revoked; then I am in a real world of crap trying to figure out the logistics of that mess!!!!

I gave Big J an ear full. It turns out, they were playing, and nothing was meant badly. But my issue is the fact that for over a year now, I have been trying to tell Big J that we do not put our hands on our friends while we are playing. His buddy AJ is big into the wrestling thing and we have gone through hundreds of requests from day care to separate the two of them because they cannot tone it down. (Another side note - AJ's mom? Worthless. Could care less. Thanks for the help lady.) Here we go again.

So ... all weekend we talked about how to play, how not to play. We hoped and prayed Monday would go better.

Waiting for the bus? Another tearful and hysteria filled wait. It really gets my day started on a great foot, let me tell you!!!!! Once again, I helped Big J on the bus, dropped little j off at day care and then headed off to work. I promised the boys that if I got done in time, I would pick them up early and we could head to the pool (its the last week it is open).

Well, I got there on time, but Big J told me to come back and pick him up later since he was headed outside to play with his friends?!?!?!? On that note, when we got home, I told him that I wouldn't listen to the tears before school anymore... since he is obviously fine and hanging out with his mom isn't really that big of a deal.

Turns out, he didn't cry this morning.

Go figure. Let's see what happens tomorrow when I drop him off!!!!

Oh yea, remember how he got himself dressed on his own that first day? Hasn't happened since! And the bus ride after school on Monday? Joshua told Alex he had to sit next to someone else for a few days. :) At least we are 1 for 2!!!!

So ... we made it through the first week of school. It was crazy and hectic ... and I want my old routine back. I am not one of those moms who sings the praises of the start of the school year since, quite frankly, this has added a whole new can of crap to my day. To my stay at home moms, kids going to school means more time for them. For me, it just means more chaos.

You know my plate? The one that has been full for a while now? Well, that plate is starting to spill onto the carpet.

But, just like everything else, I will survive somehow!!!!

Restart?

There is a shift happening; some sort of cosmic alignment of the stars. There has to be. My world feels like the Earth tilted a little bit extra on its axis. I am out of sorts ... completely.

Big J turned 5 on Sunday. He starts Kindergarten on Thursday. My baby is a boy. When the hell did that happen?

We went to get his pictures taken last Friday afternoon. When I was sitting in front of the computer screen looking at the proofs, I kept thinking to myself, "Something is wrong. What looks so wrong with him?" I even wondered if he was "cute" anymore (and immediately felt like a bad Mom) ... and that is when it hit me. He isn't cute anymore. He lost all hints of being a baby. There are no more wrinkles of skin on his hands. There is no more chubbiness in his cheeks. His face has narrowed. He is a young man. He looks handsome.

He has also become a little punk too! He has this attitude about him. He is King of the pout. King of the Last Word. King of the "HMPFs!" He loves to talk back, loves to shake his head like a diva (are boys supposed to do that?????). It is so stinking annoying. I miss my sweet boy. Every conversation with him involves me saying, "J that isn't funny, knock it off." I miss my sweet innocent boy ... where did he go???

His big boy 5th birthday party was on Saturday. He invited two of his friends from day care ... want to talk about wimpy? The two boys, one was actually a first grader, just stood on the patio while Big J, little j and a few friends of the family played games. They kept saying that they were hot and wanted to sit inside with the air conditioning. I finally relented after about 30 minutes because I just couldn't take the whining any more! My house was destroyed and they were only there for two hours! I guess we have hit the time in life where parties are separated, one for family, and one for friends (and from now on, that one from friends is OUTSIDE of my home).

Big J got Lego set after Lego set for presents ... no more cars, trucks, trains or dinosaurs. Now it is Lego Pirate forts or rescue ships. The kid can actually sit for hours trying to piece these puzzles (meant for children ages 7-10) together.

Where oh where has my baby gone?????

And now, tomorrow, I am going to "Meet the Teacher" at school. Meet the Teacher?????? Holy Crap .... KINDERGARTEN! KINDERGARTEN! KINDERGARTEN!!!!!!

I am just a bit freaked out .... I feel like everything is changing all at once and I am trying to figure out just how to handle it all. I have spent five years getting to know my son. Five years learning how to handle work and day care, trying to always show him that he is my priority, not work. And now, suddenly, in the blink of an eye, my son has changed. My life has changed. My world ... it's changed.

I feel like its back to square one .... no one told me this. No one prepared me for this in any book or child birth class. No one told me that you would mourn the little dude that once toddled down the hall yelling for you. No one told me that you would want to smack your lovely 5 year old upside the head and then cradle him in your arms all at the same time. No one told me that I would cry my eyes out, not because he is going into Kindergarten, but because he is different and I have to learn who he is all over again.

Big J is all gown up ... and I have NO clue how to be a Mom to him .... Guess I better start learning!

Keep talking Mr President

It fits! .... almost

There are certain clothes I have kept over the years on my roller coaster ride of weight gain and weight loss. I kept cute little t's, skirts and pants. I donated jeans and trendy stuff (while a pair of jeans may slide on, the wash and cut, more than likely, will have long disappeared into our memory banks!). Although, I did keep my favorite jeans, just as a guide to see "where I am at."
So, throughout this surge to finish my weight loss goal, I have been trying my clothes on periodically. At first, these skirts wouldn't go on over my hips. Then, I got them over the hips. Then, I was able to s-q-u-e-e-z-e the zippers shut.
Well, yesterday I threw on one of my favorite skirts; the white linen skirt I wore to my wedding shower. It zipped ... and I wasn't afraid that it would pop open!
So... a few more pounds and this sucker is like a brand new purchase! :)
Finally, some success!

The things people wear

I have come home a few times in my life, looked in the mirror and thought, "What the hell was I thinking?" But, mostly, I try and look in the mirror before I leave the house, so those moments don't have to happen.

Why don't other people look in mirrors?

Shirts 2 times to small, pants that show every bump and bulge, skirts so short they would make a hooker cringe.

But the things I really don't understand are the ones that do permanent stuff to look cool, but then dress like total dorks.

Um, so, those tattoos you have on your ankle and arm of symbols look rad .... but the pantyhose with granny sandals on your feet????? Lady ..... you look like a royal dork!!!!!

I wonder about people sometimes .....

I was "this" close ....

So ... I got my second quarter results at work last night. We have 3 goals. One of these goals is completely unattainable for anyone in my office, so I am not banking on it (no one else is either).

Last quarter I was 2 of 3.

This quarter, 1 of 3.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

I blew one goal out of the water at 164%.

The other goal I missed by .8%. Seriously?!?!?!That sucks.

Ugh.

Just in case you care ....

My favorite breakfast lately has been: Yoplait Vanilla yogurt with Grape Nuts Trail Mix, blueberries and raspberries.

I actually wake up thinking about this.

I feel bad when I am out and I cannot eat this.

It isn't easy to have this all the time ... one of my top 3 cereals is this Trail Mix, yet, I cannot find it anywhere but CVS pharmacy. It runs about $5 a box. So when it is on sale, I buy like 5 at a time (And guess what? They are on sale this week - two for $5! Woo Hoo)!

I wonder how long this obsession will last ... probably until blueberry prices skyrocket again, or until CVS stops carrying Grape Nuts!

Oh, sometimes it is just the little things ...

It is all freaking me out

Little j woke up last night at 1:00. I sat with him for about a half hour until I thought he was asleep. I quietly tiptoed out the door, not shutting it for fear I would wake him up. That bit me in the ass.
About an hour later he was in our bed, stretching and kicking all the while. I just laid there and watched the clock. As I watched the clock, thoughts raced through my brain. My anxiety started to kick in. I began to focus on my Mommy job .... on Big J starting kindergarten in two weeks.

Two weeks?!?!?!

I have a child old enough to go to school?!?!?!

Holy crap!

Then I began to think of all the things I didn't know about the first day.

What do I do?
Where do I go?
DO I drop him off?
Do I walk him in?
DO I have him bring all of his supplies on that first day or should I wait until the second day?
What do I do if he cries?
What do I do if I cry?
DO I go back in to pick him up?
Should I let the bus take him home?
Where the hell does the bus pick him up or drop him off?

These thoughts kept randomly popping through my head making my heart pound louder each time. I am repeating my first day anxiety all over again ... and I am not going to school.

Needless to say, I never fell back to sleep ... I hit the gym at 5:40 and I vow to myself to get some of my questions answered this week, hoping that will help my insomnia.
Here's to being scared of the first day of kindergarten! Jeesh ....

Physical Therapy Update

If any of you remember my blog post a few months back (http://isithappyhouryet.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-therapy.html )about my issues "down there." I am happy to say, that I am done with my therapy.

I was in physical therapy for nearly 6 months. I did my "homework" nearly every night, which helped speed up the process. This homework included using various shaped dilators to stretch the muscles and help condition your brain and your muscles to work together again.

I often was asked, "ooh, did you get excited?" Nope. This was medical therapy .... there was no "excitement" to be had. In fact, there were many nights I just wanted to go to sleep .... but I did what I was told.

My therapist said that she was really happy with the way I was progressing - I guess not many people heed her advice about homework and just cannot seem to wonder why they aren't getting better.

Many visits included her massaging scar tissue, not just my apparent C-section scar, but scar tissue that I didn't know I had - in my pelvis, abs and thighs. Let me tell you, this shit hurt. Like hell. But, like any other massage, once it was over ..... it was amazing how good I felt!

Another part of therapy was contracting and relaxing my vaginal muscles. Now, I had no problem with the contracting part, it was the relaxing that gave me trouble; most people are just the opposite. At times, my therapist would connect me to a machine that would show me graphically (think about the machine you are connected to when you are in labor that showed you each contraction and how powerful they were). She would give me a number to strive for and every week; I got better each time.

I also underwent some electrical therapy. Nope, not comfortable in the least bit, but it stimulated my muscles to help them operate properly. It was incredible the things she was able to do as therapy.

Around April, we went from weekly therapy to every other week. I was to continue doing my homework, but still abstain from sex for the time being. We were progressing at a great pace.

Then, in May I was given the green light to have sex. I was hesitant and a bit nervous. But, I knew that I had the tools necessary to enjoy this. I also knew that half of my battle was mental; I would remember the pain from a previous experience, tense up and then try and have sex, only to have pain again.

So, I did my relaxation techniques before intercourse, and sex was not so painful any more. Obviously, it was a bit clinical at this point, but, hey, you have to start some where! We kept trying, some times were better than others.

By June, I was released from therapy. She was amazed at how I had healed. I was amazed at how I healed.

I continue my therapy at home. I haven't used the manual stimulation since May, but I have often used my relaxation techniques. These help on my stressful days, days that I just cannot seem to get comfortable.

It is amazing to look back and see how far I came .... and how weirded out by all of this I was. Now, I cannot imagine not getting help. And my therapist said that after I started she noticed that more doctors were starting to send her patients. It was as if doctors were finally paying attention to their patients. Not just brushing off their complaints, but really digging in and getting to a root cause. Hopefully this can continue, I can only imagine how many women suffered or are still suffering.

As I said before ladies, don't ignore your body. If one doctor cannot help you, find another and another, until you get an answer. Life is too short to live in pain!

As American as Apple Pie, Baseball and ... Kleenex?

I couldn't sleepa few nights ago. I fell asleep well, but around 1:00 I was up and that was the beginning of my tossing and turning.

So, instead of getting more and more frustrated, I went and watched my DVR. I had recorded a WGN Cubs special ... 60 years of Cubs moments. When it was done I was wiping my tears away.

Yes, I cried. I cried when I saw them replay of the clinching game in 1984. I cried when they showed Mark Grace grabbing the 3rd out at first for another clinching game. I cried when they showed Kerry Wood getting his 20th strike out. I remember all those moments like they happened yesterday.

Some moments were shared with my Dad. Other moments, with my Grandpa. But, each and every moment was special to me.

I cry at thing like that. I find myself tearing up when they show a video montage of highlights from a sports season ... like when the Blackhawks won the Cup. As they put on this awesome music, to a collage of videos from the past season, I found myself wiping the tears away.



I cry when the first few notes of the Star Spangled Banner start at every, and I mean, every, sporting event I attend and view. There is just something about watching your flag being honored by people, who are free enough to spend their Sunday watching a favorite football team, or a July afternoon watching their favorite baseball team. And fly-overs. Ugh ... don't even get me started on what happens when there is a flyover.

My family has always been a passionate family when it comes to our sports. There have been family feuds because of sports. My husband and my parents are still on rocky ground because he cannot fathom liking the Bucs instead of the Bears (shhhhhh ... I like the Bucs more still, but cannot say a word!!!!!).

We left my sister's 8th grade graduation early because the Bulls were playing the Lakers in the Finals. When we moved to Florida, before we opened any boxes or moved any furniture around, we had the couch set up, the TV plugged in, and the cable guy out because the final game of the Bulls/Suns series was on the night we moved in.



When the Bulls won all their Championships, I cried. I was so happy, so excited; it was awesome. I always think of those lonely people sitting in their homes, the ones who do nothing but watch "their" team, season after season, finally being able to celebrate something (yes, those are the kinds of things I think about).



Can you imagine how I will be when the Cubs finally win the whole thing (and they will, curses be damned!)? I will cry for a week! I will cry for my Grandpa watching down from Heaven, who will probably be drinking a Heavenly beer with me. I will cry for my Grandma, who hopefully will still be around, who knows the stats of every player on their roster, including their shoe sizes and waistlines. I will cry for those little old guys who used to sit at the Cubs games before they became "hip" and are now watching from wheelchairs.



God bless America for giving us a Country where our pastimes can give us respite from our day to day lives!



What my family has also been passionate about is this Country. It has been instilled in us since day one that we can love all of these things because we live in the United States. To this day, the 4th of July is my favorite holiday; not Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. I love the fact that we can fly our flags, decorate the house in red, white and blue ... and no one says a thing about even being too tacky.



I am a sucker for fireworks. I will sit out in the hot sun all day to hold the perfect spot for the viewing. I will go to as many firework shows as I possibly can ... it never gets old for me. Let's celebrate what this great Country was founded on. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. So, yes, I cry during these displays ... especially the ones that are synchronized with patriotic music ... I am mush.



I cry at parades. I cry when the Vets walk by and my children stand and salute the flag ... what a proud moment for any Mom and any American! I cry when the Little League teams are walking by and throwing candy out into the crowd. They live for this ... and I think it is awesome. I cry when I see the crowd, wearing their versions of red, white and blue, waving tiny flags and doing what we should be doing every day of our life - loving this great Country.



So ... I will let it out America. I will let those tears flow. I will enjoy those little (and big) moments in my life. I will relish those victories. I will look back at the baseball games I've attended and remember that they are the American way. I will enjoy seeing my kids learn that the hot dog and cotton candy at the ballpark is something we are supposed to do! And, yes, I will enjoy wiping my tears away with a tissue at those moments; knowing I am doing what I am free to do.

Safety First?

OK, I admit it ... I am a bad mom. Why am I a bad mom? Well, for starters I do not believe in helmets. You know, helmets? Those things that you see toddlers wearing that look straight out of a Roswell museum while they are riding in circles on their Big Wheels in their driveways?
I rode my bike everywhere as a kid. Every day. When I was small we rode up and down our driveway and around the block. To the neighbors house. Anywhere that Mom said, "yes."
As a teen I rode to friends' houses, babysitting jobs, to town with friends, and probably some places that I should not have ridden, as well.
We raced our bikes. We crashed our bikes. With every crash, yes, there was an injury of some sort. Some injuries were worse than others, I admit. But 100% of my injuries occurred below my chin. I have scars on my shoulders, elbows, hands and legs to prove my bike-riding experiences. Never once did I don a helmet, or knee pad or elbow pad. Never once did my Mom say, "You want to ride on the driveway? Better put your safety gear on!" What she did say was, "Please get out of my hair and go ride your bike with your friends."
We learned lessons about bike safety from the mistakes that we made. For instance, when my sister had her jacket wrapped around her waist and then went on a bike ride, we learned that the arms can get wrapped around a tire and cause you to fall (and ruin your jacket). Hence, he didn't ride with jackets tied around our waists.
We also saw a friend wear her sandals on her bike and slip off, causing the skin on her toes to virtually disappear (just writing this makes my skin crawl). So, we learned to always wear closed toe shoes when we rode.
I look back on my wipe-outs (yes, there were many memorable ones) and all of them destroyed my hands. I always fell on my hands .... only a fool would let their head hit the ground. Instead, they instinctively threw their hands out to stop their fall. I always remember a line from the movie, Karate Kid. Mr Miyagi is coming to fix the sink in Daniel's apartment and Daniel is practicing his karate with the shiner he received the night before from Johnny. Mr Miyagi comments on the eye and Daniel responds, "Oh yea, I fell off my bike." Mr Miyagi shrugs and says, "Ha. Lucky no hurt hand."
Wow ... dead on Mr Miyagi!!!!
I totally get the people who wear helmets when they are riding in the street, or mountain biking. I totally get having kids wear helmets when they are doing so as well. But, what I do not get are the people that put these things on for their children to ride at a snails pace, in circles, in their flippin driveways! Really????? I wonder what they will do when their kids go out for football? Wrap them in foam? Or wait, if their child takes up running, will they have to wear knee pads, elbow pads, hand guards and a mouth guard? How about when they start kissing girls? Will they have to wear a condom when they leave the house in case they get premature hard-ons????
Seriously? Could we please let our children be children?? Kids have to hurt themselves to learn how to not hurt themselves. If you pad the corners of your coffee table, do you really think that once they are 3 and they run into the un-padded coffee table, they should know better? Nope, they will think all coffee table corners are soft. And all outlets have covers, toilets have locks, no doorknobs turn, falling off of a bike doesn't hurt, etc, etc, etc.
Kids need scars. Kids need to know how to fall so as to not hurt themselves!
Teach your children why they shouldn't run near a coffee table, or stick a key into the outlet, or how to put their hands out in front of them when they are riding in the driveway and their bike falls over.
I just don't get it. Really, I don't. And, I am sure some people think I am a bad mom. OK. Fine. Think I am a bad Mom. But, I think you worry about your kids a bit too much sometimes; to the point of making them all weak and inept. So there.
I will continue to be a bad Mom ..... I will get my son a helmet when he truly needs one ... when the training wheels are gone and his paths are bumpy and far. But for now, you will know my house. It is the one where the kids are in the driveway with jackets on, tennis shoes tied and their hair blowing in the wind while they are riding around on their Big Wheels!

The music of life

Listening to Bret Michaels sing with Jimmy Buffet on I-Tunes .... Funny, before this Bret Michaels phenomena, I was buying his solo albums (do they still call them albums?) all along.
I watched him on Celebrity Apprentice and gained a whole new respect for him. After watching him with the hookers on the Rock of Love shows, he needed to!
It was weird when he had his brain hemorrhage. My sister called to tell me and I felt sad. I guess when you are passionate about music, like I am, it stays with you. Music is a part of you. And growing up with Bret Michaels, his posters on my wall, tapes and CD's constantly on my radio, I feel like he was part of that. Not like I am a weird fan, stalker type ... but, you have a connection to people like that.
He was a part of of my childhood, my dating life (how many times did I make out to Every Rose has Its Thorn????), and even my wedding and my sisters' weddings (at least one Poison song had to be played at them!).
Funny how certain songs, artists, albums, etc can instantly put you in a good mood, no matter what. And, as I have said before, can take you back to times that you will never forget.

Remember the nights we sat

and talked about all our dreams

Well little did we know then

They were more distant than they seemed

Well I knew it

You knew it too

the things we'd go through

We knew the things we had to do

To make it baby

What I am

"I'm not aware of too many things

I know what I know if you know what I mean

What I am is what I am

Are you are is what you are or what?

What I am is what I am"

Wow ... its been a while ... and here we are, mid-July, and life continues to drive forward at the speed of light.

I have been many things in the past few weeks ... and here is my recap:

I am happy:

Happy that I have two healthy children who, despite making me want to pull my hair out one strand by one strand, give me joy from the inside out.
Happy that I am still employed.
Happy that the Hawks won the Stanley Cup! It was so cool to experience the hype and fun! And fun to watch Big J and little j enjoy it with me!
Happy that my baby sister is pregnant (no one knows yet .... so SSSSHHHHH!!!!!)!
Happy that my relationship with E is better than it has been in a while (while his hunger for sex ... sorry ... this is my blog .... drives me nuts!). Who would have thunk?

I am anxious:
Anxious about Big J starting kindergarten next month. Our whole world changes. You wouldn't think it does, but .... No more vacation whenever it works for me .... we are now on "school time." No more keeping the boys home when I have a short day, no more long weekends at Grandma's ...... Vacations, visits, trips will now be with the rest of the world: Spring Break, Summer, and Christmas! And ... my little dude ... he is going to school! My little buddy who was my partner in crime while E was away will be gone at school! My baby is all grown up ... and I totally don't feel old enough to have a kid in school.
Anxious that my results at work could stop any time due to this boob in Office that ruins the economy every day that he wakes up. I cannot go back to that again ... really, I cannot.
Anxious about E's Army fate. We are waiting on a medical board to determine how he will be retired. My "stay at home mom" future all rides on what this Board decides.

I am sad:
Sad because a man, who was like an Uncle to my sisters and I, died this past Saturday. He was a funny man, who was a great friend to my family and will be missed terribly.

I am excited:
Excited that I have lost about 25 pounds and I am nearing my goal. I want to lose about 1o more!
Excited that my middle sister is coming to visit in one month!
Excited that I get to go to Tampa in a few weeks for a quick visit and to drop Big J off for his vacation with Grandma and Grandpa.

I am disappointed:
Disappointed that I have yet to get my personal business any where near getting off the ground. My own fault, completely.
Dispappointed that the Cubs suck this year.
Disappointed that we still cannot seem to get our financial situation where we want/need it.

I am determined:
Determined to start writing in this blog again. Really.
Determined to get a bit more involved for myself ... find a team, group ... something.
Determined to let my family know how much they mean to me every day.

"I yam what I yam

And that's all what I yam.

I'm Popeye the sailor man"

Woo Hoo!!!

Blacks win the Stanley Cup! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear husband ...

Ever wanted to tell your husband where he can put his opinion?

Yeah ... I want to often .... as in ... right now....

As in ... "hey honey ... shove it."

Where have you been??

Where the hell has time gone?

I have so many thoughts ... so little time to write them!

For now, I will write about what I am proud of today.

I have lost a total of 20 pounds with only 10 more to go until I hit my goal!

Sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life - 24/7

Been way too long since I wrote anything.

My problem? Every time I sit down to write, something pops up: leaks in the basement (which found their way into our electrical box), yard work (can I just say that trying to remove 15 years worth of mulch lends to many stuffed outdoor bags, and a very sore back the next morning?), children not sleeping (playing Supernanny for one week can wear any sane person down) ....

You name it, I am doing it, have done it or will be doing it within the next 24 hours!

Life happens. Life has been happening.

I am hoping it will continue to happen .... but maybe at a more peaceful pace???

:)

I love my kids .... I love my house (but, have you ever seen the movie Money Pit? That is our home, seriously!) .... my job has even gotten a bit better.

Life is happening ... and it aint that bad.

Holy pain, Batman!

OMG ...

I have a bladder infection. Not just any old bladder infection, but a raging, nasty, horrible infection that is making me feel like my bladder is going to explode and disappear from this earth.

I started feeling the familiar feelings of bladder infection of the past on Friday. I was determined to not take antibiotics, as I always end up with a yeast infection and I so do not want to go down that road again.

So, I researched some homeopathic and health food sites and found this product: D-Mannose. This came with many reviews, most on the positive end of things.

I bought some ... not cheap ... but i figured it would be worth it if I could avoid antibiotics and yeast infection creams!

Well, I tried it, and as of yesterday at 3:00, I gave in.

I am seeing the doctor tomorrow morning at 8:15.

I can honestly tell you, I wish I would have called on Friday.

Being natural is great ... but bladder infections, yep, I will never again mess around.

This pain is the worst I have ever had (and I have had many over the years).

Seriously folks, they only way I would feel better is if I could spend the next 24 hours just sitting in the bathroom. Then and only then, would I feel a sense of relief.

But, since I cannot do that .... I will try and send my thoughts elsewhere while my bladder screams at me to rip it out from where it is hiding!!!!!!

An extra 2 feet for luck?

I bought Big J some new gym shoes last week. He seems to go through gym shoes monthly ... they must drag their toes on the cement when they have outside time at school.
Anyway ... I brought the shoes home and he wanted to play ASAP in them (he thought they were going to make him run super fast).
I put on the shoes, double knotted them (I could have quadruple knotted them) and sent him on his way.
Next thing I know, he is yelling for help and sitting on his bike in the middle of the sidewalk.
When I walked over to him, I noticed that his shoelace had wrapped itself around his bike pedal.
The next day I went to Target and bought new, appropriate length, shoelaces.
Now, I wouldn't think anything if this was the first time; but, I have had this issue in the past.
I buy these children's shoes, for little feet and we get these shoelaces that could tie up combat boots!!!
WTF?
Do they really think we need shoelaces that long? What do they propose we do with all that excess???
Am I alone out there????

Speaking of pet peeves ...

My earlier post got me to thinking about the rest of my pet peeves (and the girl who was shuffling her feet the whole length of the train this morning helped too!).



I know I have posted this before, but it is time to revisit!



Seriously people, pick up your effing feet. if your shoes are too big, buy a smaller size. If you cannot walk in flip flops (and I love, love, love flip flops), don't wear them!!!! Walking involves lifting your feet, heel then toe .... not keeping your feet flat and shuffling forward!



I cannot stand having friends or family that talk a big game. You know the type, "oh, we should get together! We live so close... blah, blah, blah." Look, if you are serious, let's talk. If you are just saying it to be "nice," don't say it! I actually try and make plans with people. I hate those that consistently cancel, decline or ignore me!!



Stay at home moms who love to rub it in your face that you actually have to leave the house to work. The moms that ask if you want to make plans for lunch, when they know you are working. Moms that make comments about "working mothers," as if we have the plague. I am working to hopefully get ahead in our bills and savings plans, so that someday I can be home for my kiddos. This is my life. I don't judge you; do not judge me.

When driving along the highway, please do a few things. 1. Make sure you have a car that has working brake lights. When you have to stop and I cannot see that you are stopping ... well, it gets a bit tricky. 2. The left lane is for FAST drivers. The right lane is for SLOW drivers. Do NOT get them confused. 3. If you are going to tailgate me, I will slam on my brakes. get off my ass. If I am driving at speed limit there is probably a good reason for that, you should do the same!

When I am running errands, I usually have my two boys in tow. After a busy grocery shopping trip I have to unload groceries, buckle to kids in car seats, usually console one of the kids because they couldn't get a toy/treat, and, most of the time, open up a snack that I promised them inside the store as a bribe to keep them quiet. Why, in God's great world, do people find it necessary to sit in their car, blinker on, and wait for us to back out? Why, do they do this when there are more than enough spaces just a few feet over? Will I go to Purgatory for too long because I purposely take a longer time to get the car going for these people?

I was at Potbelly for lunch on Sunday with the boys. They went to sit at the high-top table while I ordered the sandwiches. We have a high-top for our kitchen table, so they, for the most part, know how to handle themselves in the higher chairs. As I turned to check on them, the lady that was sitting near them took it upon herself to pick Little j up and hold him. When I bolted over there, she said, "they should not be sitting here, he could fall." I about flipped my lid. Do NOT, under any circumstances, ever touch my children unless they were in dire trouble. I will kick ass ... seriously, I will.

Of course, I have a myriad of pet peeves I could talk about, but then, I would sound awful. So ... I will leave it at that for now.

What are your pet peeves?

Pet Peeve

OK folks, when you join a pool for anything: Superbowl, a baby's birth date, March Madness, etc, and it costs cash to join, please, please, please .... do not make the person running the pool hunt you down.

Your lack of ownership just makes you look like an ass. Period.

Now, back to chasing down my $10 ...

Will I get caught?

So ... It is the Cubs' home opener ... and a beautiful day ....

I called it quits early and got home just in time to see the first pitch (and 5 run 3rd inning).

Hope I don't get caught!

Go Cubs!

Time to finish what I started

So, last year at this time I started a massive weight loss attempt. I lost 25 pounds. I haven't gained anything back, thank God, but I also hadn't lost anything either.
So, about 3 weeks ago, I started really kicking things into high gear. I hit a bit of a snag when I got sick ... basically two weeks went by without ever hitting the gym.
I started back at Spin yesterday and felt awesome.
So, here we are, a few weeks later and I have lost 5 pounds!
WooHoo!
Only 20 more to go!!!!!!!!!

Battle of the Sexes ... no surprise here!

OK, so I read this article this morning, about who is harder to raise, boys vs girls. After tallying it up ... it appears I am doomed. boys are innately insane!!!!! ;)
I love my boys ... they keep me active (I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why I am not a size 2 since I spend my time with them all hyped up and running every where!) ... and they keep me on my toes.
My boys will also drive me to become a stressed out alcoholic!!!!!!!!

Battle of the Sexes
By Paula Spencer
I often say that I spend more time and energy on my one boy than on my three girls. Other mothers of boys are quick to say the same. Forget that old poem about snips and snails and puppy dog tails, says Sharon O'Donnell, a mom of three boys and the author of House of Testosterone. "Somehow it's been changed to boys being made of 'fights, farts, and video games,' and sometimes I'm not sure how much more I can take!"
Not so fast, say moms of girls, who point out that they have to contend with fussier fashion sense, more prickly social navigations, and a far greater capacity to hold a grudge. And as a daughter grows, a parent's concerns range from body image to math bias.
Stereotyping, or large kernels of truth? "I think parents use 'which is harder?' as an expression of whatever our frustration is at the moment," says family therapist Michael Gurian, author of Nurture the Nature. "Boys and girls are each harder in different ways."
Every child is an individual, of course. His or her innate personality helps shape how life unfolds. Environment (including us, the nurturers) plays a role, too: "There are differences in how we handle boys and girls right from birth," says David Stein, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Virginia State University in Petersburg. "We tend to talk more softly to girls and throw boys in the air."
But it's also true that each gender's brain, and growth, unfolds at a different rate, influencing behavior. Leonard Sax, M.D., author of Boys Adrift, believes parents raise girls and boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth -- their brains aren't wired the same way.
So, can we finally answer the great parenting debate over which sex is more challenging to raise? Much depends on what you're looking at, and when:
DisciplineWho's harder? BoysWhy don't boys seem to listen? Turns out their hearing is not as good as girls' right from birth, and this difference only gets greater as kids get older. Girls' hearing is more sensitive in the frequency range critical to speech discrimination, and the verbal centers in their brains develop more quickly. That means a girl is likely to respond better to discipline strategies such as praise or warnings like "Don't do that" or "Use your words." "Boys tend to be more tactile -- they may need to be picked up and plunked in a time-out chair," Gurian says. They're also less verbal and more impulsive, he adds, which is especially evident in the toddler and preschool years.
These developmental differences contribute to the mislabeling of normal behavior as problematic, a growing number of observers say. Five boys for every one girl are diagnosed with a "disorder" (including conduct disorder, bipolar disorder, hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder, sensory integration disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder), says Stein, also the author of Unraveling the ADD/ADHD Fiasco. Some kids -- most often boys -- may simply fall on the more robust end of normal. They need more opportunities to expend energy and aggression, as well as firmer limits.
Physical safetyWho's harder? Boys"Much after-dinner wrestling here," reports Michelle Mayr, the Davis, California, mom of four boys, ages 5 to 12. "I'm constantly fighting to keep my house a home rather than an indoor sports center. Their stuffed animals' primary function is to be added to the pile of pillows everyone is launching into from the coffee table." In general, boys are more rambunctious and aggressive, experts say. Taking risks lights up the pleasure centers of their brains. Many parents find they have to keep a closer eye on what a son is "getting into," or use more bandages.
But letting kids explore -- at the cost of a few scrapes and cuts -- builds character, self-confidence, resilience, and self-reliance, says Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. Boys, being natural risk takers, may need encouragement to slow down a little, but maybe girls need to be encouraged to take more risks. Look for opportunities for your daughter to jump off a wall, swim in the deep end, or try the bigger slide.
CommunicationWho's harder? First boys, then girlsFrom birth, a girl baby tends to be more interested in looking at colors and textures, like those on the human face, while a boy baby is drawn more to movement, like a whirling mobile, says Dr. Sax. (These differences play out in the way kids draw: Girls tend to use a rainbow of hues to draw nouns, while boys lean toward blue, black, and silver for their more verblike pictures of vehicles crashing and wars.) In a nutshell, girls are rigged to be people-oriented, boys to be action-oriented. Because girls study faces so intently, they're better at reading nonverbal signals, such as expression and tone of voice. Boys not only learn to talk later than girls and use more limited vocabularies, they also have more trouble connecting feelings with words.
"While most girls share their feelings and details of events, my three sons honestly don't see that as important. I spend my days asking, 'What happened then?' or 'What did he say after you said that?'" O'Donnell says.
Important note: Because boys hold eye contact for shorter periods than girls, parents may worry about autism, since this can be a red flag. "It's a relief for moms to know that this is normal and comes from the way the brains are set up," Gurian says.
As girls get to be 8 or so, things can get harder: The flip side of being so adept at communicating is that girls exert a lot of energy on it. There can be a great deal of drama around who's mad at whom, who said what and why, and more. Start when your daughter's a toddler to establish an open communication, so she learns she can come to you for advice.
Self-esteemWho's harder? GirlsDeveloping a healthy self-image is critical to all kids. But as the more compliant and people-oriented gender, girls tend to grow up less confident and more insecure than boys, researchers say. Famed gender researcher and psychologist Carol Gilligan, Ph.D., calls this "the tyranny of nice and kind" -- unwittingly raising girls to be people pleasers.
"This cultural pressure to put others' needs first, ignore one's own gut feelings, and avoid asking for what one wants has traditionally harmed girls," says Jenn Berman, a California family therapist who wrote The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids. "Despite the fact that she enjoys the positive attention and accolades that people pleasing brings, the more a girl pushes her own needs and desires underground to please others, the more likely her own self-esteem will suffer."
"I see a natural nurturing instinct in my daughter and her friends," says Tracy Lyn Moland, a parenting consultant in Calgary, Alberta, who has a girl, 11, and a boy, 8. "I find myself saying, 'I can take care of that -- you get yourself ready,' when she's trying to mother her brother."
Make no mistake, helpfulness and nurturing are virtues for everybody. But this tendency in girls makes it smart to help her explore and strengthen her inner nature and encourage her to try new things.
Body image is a big part of self-esteem, and though there's certainly body-image dysfunction in boys and men, it remains mostly a female issue. The natural rounding out of the body that happens in puberty clashes with the unnatural slimness girls see in the culture around them.
Be aware of the messages you convey about your own body, diet, and exercise. "It's painfully obvious that girls' negative body image can come directly from seeing their moms look critically in the mirror and complain," says Berman. "Teach your daughter to listen to her body's signals of hunger and satiety. Girls who listen to their bodies tend to listen to their instincts in other areas." Sports are a great way for girls to build confidence and a healthy appreciation for their bodies.
SchoolWho's harder? Mostly boysBoys and modern education are not an idyllic match. An indoor-based day and an early emphasis on academics and visual-auditory (as opposed to hands-on) learning ask a lot of a group that arrives at school less mature. In their early years, most boys lag behind girls in developing attentiveness, self-control, and language and fine motor skills.
The relatively recent acceleration of the pre-K and kindergarten curricula has occurred without awareness that the brain develops at different sequences in girls and boys, Dr. Sax says. Music, clay work, finger painting, and physical exercise -- early-ed activities that once helped lively kids acclimate to school -- are vanishing. Few teachers are trained in handling the problems that result.
One area where girls do less well in school concerns spatial learning, such as geometry. Girls may use different parts of their brains to process space perceptions. The key is for parents to present both boys and girls with plenty of no-pressure opportunities to try out the areas that are challenging.
The bottom line? On balance, the general consensus seems to be that boys are more of a handful early on, and girls more challenging beginning in the preteen years. Which means that, as the mom of daughters who are 12, 9, and 7, I have the next ten years cut out for me!
Parenting contributing editor Paula Spencer is the coauthor, with Jill Stamm, M.D., of Bright From the Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, From Birth to Three.

While I am on the subject ...

A girlfriend of mine just sent me this article:

http://www.illinoisfamily.org/news/contentview.asp?c=34804

If they want to tell me that health care is a right (which, um, isn't in the Bill of Rights, I might add ... and, we have the right to life, which, according to Obamacare, babies won't have), well, then, why am I not allowed to carry a gun, when the right to bear arms is in the Bill of Rights??????



Effed up ... seriously ... these people are all effed up.

Sorting out my thoughts

I spent the weekend immersed in NCAA basketball. It was one of the most incredible tourneys that I can even remember. Buzzer beaters, upsets .... it was what I love through and through.

I also spent most of the weekend sick ... and with my boys. We had fun but I was exhausted and worn out through most of it. I did get to go out for a birthday dinner with E on Saturday night, so that was enjoyable (even though i couldn't breathe!).

What sucks the most though, is that my weekend ended on a sour note. This health acre bill being passed and Stupak being a complete and total sellout has me completely depressed.

People who actually believe Obama will stay true to his word and allow the Executive Order regarding abortion to stay, well, for lack of better words, they are ignorant.

Obama has stood by nothing that he has ever promised.


Plain a d simple, in the not to distant future, my tax dollars will be paying for babies to be murdered.

There are no other words. There are no ways to soften the blow.

I am disappointed in my government.

I am disappointed in all those who see this as positive.

Most of all, I am disappointed that in the land of the free ... my voice is no longer heard, my choices are no longer valid, and I am truly, no longer free.

I still can hardly organize my thoughts and feelings on this whole thing. Once I do, maybe I can say how I feel more intelligently.

What time is it?

March Madness!!!

I love, love, love this time of year.

I agonize over my brackets.

I make sure I schedule work around the games (although I screwed myself this year with two doctor appointments today and tomorrow, both at 3:00).

I plan meals around games.

I become basketball obsessed.... and I don't feel guilty.

And ... oh yea ... this hype about Obama picking his brackets?! WTF? I could care less!!!!! Leave sports to us ... keep your politics out of it

Selfish Acts

So, I was talking with my sister yesterday and she told me about a "friend" of hers ... I am appalled.

Apparently, this couple wanted to get pregnant and couldn't. They spent over $30,000 on fertility treatments and are now deeply in debt.

They finally got pregnant and announced to all. They were due in April.

Well, they had a series of tests done and found out that they had a 75% chance of giving birth to a baby with special needs.

Instead of asking for God's grace to help with this miracle that God blessed them with, they drove down to Miami and had an abortion at 6 months.

They are now trying to get pregnant again.

Some people will never learn. I pray for the soul of that poor gift from up above .... they are an angel in Heaven.

Oh crap ....

OOPS ....

So, E had to go on another Army trip this week. He left on Tuesday. He called me that night and told me that he was pulled over for speeding and got a ticket (his 2nd since December).

Luckily it wasn't too bad, and he is going to do whatever he has to in order for it to not go on his record.

Yesterday I was driving down 290 and there was a cop literally every two miles. People were pulled over all over the place. It went on for at least 20 miles.

This morning I had to get the kids out of the house at 6:30 so I could be at a police station no later than 7:15.

I drop them off and head to the expressway.

I merge on, attempt to head to the left lane (and get around a slow moving delivery truck) and HELLO! Red and blue lights are immediately in my rear view mirror.

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

So, I got my license and insurance card out and I was prepared for the worst.

Sheriff, "Where are you going?"

Me, "I am headed to a police station for roll call."

Sheriff, "Are you an officer?"

Me, "No, I handle their retirement plan."

Sheriff, "Slow down and be careful, you have a nice vehicle and I would hate to see you wreck it."

Are you freaking serious?

Thank you Jesus, thank you!!!!!!!!!

Little blessings ... they can make your day (and slow your heart down from the massive attack you start to have when you get pulled over).