A third?

Yes, it is going to be another one of 'those' posts. If I don't write about it, I'll drive myself mental.

I have consistently said that I am 50/50 on the whole 'third child' idea. I am starting to think I most like 90/10 .... 90 no, 10 yes.

And I was supposed to start yesterday. I know, still early, but, did you ever notice that every symptom you get before your period is also a symptom of pregnancy???

And, I am in an office all day and cannot go test anything.

Fuck me.

As time goes by ...

I hate typing. I hate going back and correcting all of my awful typing mistakes. I cannot type and think about or do anything else at the same time.



Life has spun completely into the chaotic zone.



Hence, I have not blogged since July.



What has happened since? Oh, holy hell .... what hasn't happened?

Went to Florida in August to pick up the boys. Spent time, as usual, in the pool, drinking, eating and chilling with my parents, sisters and Baby N.

Took family pictures for the first time in three years for our Church directory. Wow.

The boys were ring bearers in my SIL's wedding. They were the cutest things there (not biased, at all).

Big J started FIRST grade. Holy crap - he is old. ... that must mean I am old!

little j started preschool. He loves homework (ha! I will remind him of that someday!).

My Dad came in for a surprise (and fast) visit. He went to see my sick Grandma, but spent a few hours playing with the boys and drinking with me .... ;)

College football started ... my Knights have already pissed me off, but I still love 'em.

Went to a wedding with E, drank a few extra vodka tonics, rough start the following morning, but I took care of business!

Big J lost his two front teeth - he sounds hysterical!!!!

little j is slowly getting rid of pull ups for nighttime. Doctors say its normal until he is 5. Oh God bless me!

The Rays are in the playoffs after a night of baseball chaos!

I haven't gained any of my summer weight-loss back. Let's keep it that way!

We planned a family vacation to St Augustine for December. My sisters, BIL's, parents, E, Baby N, the boys ... all of us, in an ocean-front home, for five days. Let's hope there is no drama.

I am going to hang out with two high school buddies on Friday night. I feel a bit weird going out, sans E, with two guys, but knowing they were like brothers throughout high school takes away most of the weirdness.

I hope I can overcome my loathing of typing on my keyboards and update this more often, so that I don't have to recap my kids' high school graduations!

Do you hear that? I do - it is called SILENCE!

My family came to visit last Wednesday. I had four extra adults (my parents and my youngest sister and her husband) and one baby (my nephew) added to my already full house.


I was excited to entertain. I had BBQ pork (my root beer and BBQ sauce recipe) in the crock pot for the night they got there and drinks were flowing- as always.


Thursday I took them all on the train to the City. We hung out at Millennium Park, ate lunch, and enjoyed a beautiful Summer day. That night we were all too exhausted to do anything, so I fired up the grill for dinner and we chilled.


Friday was when I could feel the walls starting to close in a little bit. While I love my sister dearly, she has always been a perfectionist, and controlling (if a youngest sibling can possibly be that way). Well, ever since Baby N was born you could multiply all of these by 6 ... or 7 ... shit, try 10! Now, I know all about being a new mom, I know all about hormones; but you have to remember what kind of mom I was/am.


I didn't freak about sterilizing stuff. I didn't panic when we had no schedule. I didn't throw a hissy if someone held him the "wrong way."


My approach was, and has always been, if it worked for my Mom it is fine for me ... and I am going to follow what my "mommy gut" tells me.


J is not this way. And she let everyone know. Thankfully she was visiting old friends that night, and staying in a hotel the rest of the trip anyway!


That night, my middle sister arrived and we were going to go out to a nice dinner. Unfortunately E never got out of work until 10:15, so we ordered pizza and drank and drank and drank. (Its a sure sign of trouble when you know your liquor store man on a first name basis, he hugs and kisses you when you walk in the door, and he hands you a free bottle of wine "just because").


Saturday was our long awaited belated 60th birthday BBQ for my parents ... and a surprise. It went without a hitch, and my Mom and Dad were thrilled. I am pretty proud that I entertained, fed and hosted 35 people in my house. Granted, I had help, but I am still going to give myself a pat on the back :)


Sunday we went to Mass and enjoyed a lazy afternoon. We had reservations that evening at a modern steakhouse that E and I have been dying to share with my parents. After driving 30 minutes to get to said steakhouse, we arrive only to find its doors locked and a makeshift sign on the window - Closed due to Power Outage. WHAT?!?!?!?!??!


Scramble to find a new place. Head to Millrose in Barrington and service was pathetic. The food? Lackluster. For being a place that we have been to more than I can count, I can promise you I will never go back. Also, end the evening with a fight between sister #3 and me (why is it that when I stand up for myself I am being argumentative or controlling, but when she does, she is "hormonal"????)


We smoothed the fight over and on Monday morning, my parents, two sisters, my brother-in-law, nephew AND my two boys hopped into a limo and headed for Florida.


Yep, you heard right, my boys are on vacation. For ten days. I miss them ... but ... YAHOO .... it has been nice to just chill!


I have so much stuff I want to get done with them being gone, but all I have really done is catch up with my DVR, go to dinner with Eric, and sleep past 6:00 AM!


I head to Florida next Wednesday for five days and then we return for the rest of the Summer.


Until then ... I am going to continue to chill and enjoy the silence.

Still breathing

Not dead ... not gone ... just haven't had the desire to sit down and write. I suck at typing (if you haven't been able to tell before, from all of my tehs .... ) so to get the stream of thought coming from my head onto the computer screen sometimes just takes too much effort.

I want to start back up again - it was always a great way of venting, without getting in trouble). I will soon.

For now, I am fine, still trying to lose my last few pounds (I fit into a skirt I wore right before my wedding - now that is more like it!), and enjoy the last half of Summer!

Lent turns into Easter ... with some bumps along the way.

If you have gotten anything out of my blog thus far, you should probably note that I am a fairly religious person. While I make mistakes (my potty mouth, my easily triggered anger, my opinions that can be downright rude), I really do try to do the right thing.


I actually am trying to use Lent for what it was really for- a cleansing. And Easter - a renewal. I am trying to curb that potty mouth and that temper.


I was truly tested this past week - actually right at the very start of the Holy Triduum, Holy Thursday.


In March, I asked E if we could have Easter at our house this year and he agreed. Lately we have been going to my Grandma's and I knew he would want to stick around this year. He asked his mom and sister, about a month ago, and they agreed as well. I said that dinner would be around 2:00, since neither one of them attend church and I didn't want to have to rush through our real reason we celebrate on that day.


Earlier last week, both MIL and SIL called to see what they should bring and everything was set. I did my grocery shopping, had my menu set and knew that on Holy Thursday I would begin my Easter prep.


As E and the boys and I were sitting at dinner on Thursday evening, the phone rang with the MIL's number on the caller ID. E answered. FIL proceeded to tell him that he would not be coming on Easter, as he found out that he had a broken rib and the doctor told him not to go anywhere (????????). He also then told E that we probably should just cancel Sunday because SIL and her fiance weren't coming either (once again: ?????????).


E got off the phone and he was puzzled. I was pissed. This was typical of his family ... and cancel Eater Sunday - whatever!!!!!


E calls MIL who appears to be stupefied about SIL and irritated at FIL for saying anything, she had still been planning on coming.


E then called SIL and the family fight began.


SIL said that she and fiance were starting a home improvement project that very evening (floors and walls) and thought that if they had gotten on a roll and Sunday rolled around, they would rather cancel with us so they could finish. She figured she would just call on Saturday eve or Sunday morning and let us know.


E unleashed on her (I was able to hear his end of the conversation). He told her how completely class-less this was. How could she even imagine it was OK to call someone who had been planning a special meal, the night before/morning of, and cancel. He told her that I was already starting to prepare food and that this wasn't just some cookout or casual dinner - this was Easter Sunday and it was important to our family. She started in about how I never truly invited her, which meant that it wasn't that important, blah, blah, blah and he cut her off. He let her know that he was disappointed in the fact that she used to go to church and value things like that until her fiance came into the picture. He told her that he didn't want to explain to his kids, who were basically gong to be spending the next 4 days in church, that their Aunt was cancelling on Easter because she was doing home improvement with her fiance who "doesn't believe in that religious stuff." She said a few more things, he then told her that he didn't care (which upset her even more) and he hung up.
I was fuming. FUMING. She tried to throw me under the bus! She "didn't get an invitation??????" Since when did we do anything formal in this family?!?!
E told me to continue with my plans and we would be better off without them. He called his Mom and told her that we would have our Easter meal as a family and if it worked out, we would bring them some desserts that afternoon. So, I went on with my business.
I took Big J with me to Holy Thursday adoration. It was cathartic. When we got back I finished some more cooking and watched the end of the Blackhawks game.
On Good Friday, I continued my cooking and took both boys to the Passion service at church. It was moving and exactly what I needed to remind me why we were preparing meals and Easter baskets in the first place!
When we returned from church there was a message from SIL asking E to call her because "they both had said things they didn't mean." I thought to myself, yes, you said things you may not have meant, but E meant every word he said.
The boys and I met E for our Good Friday pizza and then went home to color Easter eggs. He tried calling SIL back, but had to leave a message.
Saturday morning, I took the boys to Easter Food Blessing at church, a Polish tradition that I can remember participating in since I could walk. The boys loved it. E was working on painting our garage that day, so I continued my Easter prep, took Big J to baseball practice, watched the Bulls blow Game 4, and started to look at my schedule for Sunday. I realized there was no way possible to make it down to see his parents .... by the time our ham was done in the oven, sliced and on the table, it would be 2:00 at best. We would never make it to their house before 4:00 .... and we had school/work the following day, and, a Blackhawks game that evening at 6:30. He agreed and called MIL. She said they were still going to try to make it. I wasn't going to hold my breath.
That evening, I met my girlfriends for dinner and then I went, all by myself, to the Easter Vigil. I loved every second of it. It was so peaceful, so refreshing. Watching six people choose to become Catholic and seeing the joy on their faces brought me to tears.It was an incredible way for me to start my Easter celebration. Thank God I planned on going .... I could not have asked for anything better.
When I returned home, E told me that SIL finally called back. She said she was sorry and she didn't realize that Easter was so important to us (?????). She said she would try to make it but would call in the morning to let us know. E said that he never apologized. :)
After that, I grabbed a glass of wine, got out the boys Easter baskets and enjoyed knowing Lent was over and Easter season had begun.
Sunday morning was spent watching the boys dive into candy and puzzles, attending church and coming home to get dinner prepared.
MIL called around noon to say that they definitely were not coming. SIL never called.
My girlfriend came and joined E, the boys and I for a wonderful Easter dinner: orange glazed ham, grilled Polish sausage, Polish wedding noodles, lemon green beans, citrus glazed carrots, Spring pea salad, Spring green jello salad, Tri-color pound cake, Lamb cake and Lemonade Fluff (oh yea, and some of our blessed Chardonnay!!!!!). Around 3:00 I was stuffed, exhausted and ready to chill.
My girlfriend left, E and I took the boys out back and played tag. By 6:00, both boys had passed out and E and I sat on the couch and watched the Hawks win their third game in a row to bring on a Game 7.
All in all, it was a very blessed Easter weekend. I still feel like I can continue my mission to become a better person in God's eyes .... I still feel the joy from that Easter Vigil. Which is why, this whole MIL/SIL/E thing really hasn't bothered me. What needs to happen will happen .... I know that our family will do what God wants ... and that is all that matters to me.

Happy Easter!

Stop!!!!!

Starting to wonder if the world has started spinning faster than usual. I have consistently been feeling like my day has been shortened by an hour, at minimum.
Really .... what is going on? I used to be able to call a friend, respond to email, update a blog ... but lately, I am out of control. I am forgetful. I am forever adding things to my to-do list but never subtracting any!
I will be in the, driving the car, kneeling at church and suddenly remembering something I completely forgot to do.
I feel like I neglect my friends, my family, my job .... me.
Anyone else feel this way????

Peace.

My parents came to visit this past weekend. I am always so nervous before they visit because I never know how E will behave. Past visits have been ruined with comments made, insults thrown, or just rude behavior on E's part. Many nights have been spent fighting in loud whispers, so my Mom and Dad wouldn't hear, with me usually ending up in tears. My Mom and E are like oil and water (yet, they are so much alike). They just love to pick on each other, but neither one feels like they do anything wrong to the other. E thinks she is opinionated (she is ... but she is my Mother). She thinks E is self-centered and rude (he is ... but his is my Husband). My Mom is a staunch Catholic. E loves to tell people why that is wrong. My Mom loves the Bucs and Rays. E thinks the only team on Earth is the Bears and loves to shove that down people's throats. My Mom likes to be my mom. E thinks they treat me like a child. In the end, as excited as I get to see my parents, I am also anxious as hell. This weekend was such a wonderful blessing, I can hardly explain how I felt. E hung out with us. My Mom never made a comment or remark. We discussed sports, life, politics and I never heard a complaint from E as a laid my head to rest each night. We watched basketball together, went out to dinner together .... we had fun. As I was driving them back to the airport on Monday morning my Mom told me that she really enjoyed the visit and that she and my Dad both noticed that E was more relaxed on this visit and he was a joy (a joy?!?!?!?!?) to be around. E said he felt the same way. Glory glory hallelujah! We are all going down to Florida in May to attend my nephew's Baptism ...and for the first time in years, I am not nervous to have E join us on this trip. Prayers work ... they just take time ... and I will continue to pray that things only get better from here!

Nevermind ....

So, remember my cryptic post about a week ago? Never mind - false alarm. A little over a week ago I started noticing a lot of cramping - it was still about 10 until my period (I operate like clockwork, I might as well be on the Pill), so I knew it wasn't that. I also noticed that I was extremely exhausted, my boobs ached all the time, I woke up nauseous and I was bloating like never before. What would you think it was?? Yep, I even looked up and saw that my due date would have been December 9. Rather than being a rational (and smart) woman, and going to get an early test, I just kept things to myself and waited for my period to show or not show. So what did I do while I waited? Worried, planned, counted down, practiced how I would tell people, mourned the loss of alcohol for the next 9 months, planned my maternity leave (got excited that I would have all of Christmas at home ... but then got depressed when I thought I would spend the Winter months stuck inside with an infant), and worried about how things would work since I had new Tricare insurance but still wanted to keep my old doctor. Well, sitting in my office last Wednesday (still five days early for my expected period) evening I felt a really large cramp and noticed a bit of blood. Still in my "I am pregnant" mode, I thought, some bleeding is normal. Woke up the next morning and realized, I am not pregnant. I am assuming it was my period since it lasted for about five days. Part of me was relieved - I just got little j into underpants, we changed the baby room into a toy room, I am ten pounds away from my goal weight and I am starting to enjoy the fact that the boys are becoming more and more self-sufficient. The other part of me was sad - no little person to hold and love, little j won't become a big brother, no 12 week maternity leave (hey! no rolling of the eyes ... there should be some benefit to the mommy!) .... I wonder if I am ready for a third or if I am ready to say that I call it quits. E wants two more (he is cracked in the head) and I promise that will not happen. I believe that God has a plan for everyone. I don't believe in birth control, so it is up to me and Him to head down the path chosen for me. We shall see what happens from here ... but for now, it is me and E and the two boys ...

Lions and lambs ... oh my!

Where to begin??? March came in like a lion ... and has yet to lose its roar! Little j turned the big "3" on the 14th. He was so excited. We took him to Red Robin for a birthday celebration and ice cream sundae. We came home and opened presents. Big J bought him a Dinosaur Train set - he loved it. He gave his big brother a huge hug. We bought him an adjustable basketball hoop - he went nuts. The boys played (in the living room since it was still butt-ass cold, but it was fun none-the-less) for hours that evening. March Madness started and our annual rite of what-seems-like 96 hours of straight basketball began. I love every stinkin second. I even got Big J involved and we made a family bracket. He and I were on opposing sides during the Villanova-George Mason game and watching him get so involved and excited was priceless. (And, for the record, I didn't care about Obama's picks this year either!) Little j's party was a few days later and we had a great time celebrating. The weather actually cooperated with us, so the kids played outside while the grown-ups watched basketball and ate and ate and ate. I made mini-chicken burritos, dinosaur chicken nuggets (it was a Dino themed party), and mini pizza pockets (a total hit, made from Phyllo shells). We also had some Skinnygirl Margaritas (that stuff is AWESOME - I totally recommend it!). The following week was Spring Break for Big J. I took Monday, Tuesday and Friday off .... E's Mom watched them on Wednesday and Thursday so I got to give him a real break from school and day care. Monday we took advantage of the only day that was nice and spent it shopping at the outdoor mall, eating lunch at California Pizza Kitchen and playing some baseball in the front yard. Tuesday it poured all day and we just hung out inside and did absolutely nothing. The boys loved every second of it! Friday I took them out to Noodles and Company for lunch and then we went to see Diary of the Wimpy Kid part 2. They both laughed their asses off. It was so nice to just "be at home" with them without worrying about phone calls, work email, bosses, etc, etc, etc. I love doing that (even though I want to beat their asses at the end of the day!) In between all of that we actually celebrated my birthday. After Little j's big day, I am always an after-thought. E and the boys took me to dinner at Claim Jumper - we sat at the bar and watched more basketball. I got some UCF scrubs from the boys and E is taking me to buy a large clock for our family room wall that I have been wanting for quite some time. E and I went out for a birthday dinner date on Saturday to Pete Millers ... more basketball (NCAA and NBA) and hockey ... with great food and lots of wine!!!!! It was sad to see the great week come to an end but thankfully my Mom and Dad are coming to town on Friday and I have that to look forward to! Really ready for March to leave like a lamb now .... any time. ;)

Really???

Been M.I.A. lately ... lots going on and will update later. But, for now . . . Ever know about something that you should be happy knowing but are actually scared out of your ever-loving mind about? Yep, welcome to my life.

Number One or Number Two?

Last week little j decided that he no longer wanted to wear diapers any more, he wanted to "go potty on the potty."

He made this decision at school and they said he just made the decision and started going.

When I potty trained Big J, I was doing it on my own, as E was deployed. We started backwards, going #2, and because of that, I taught him how to pee sitting down and tucking his little thingie down. With the exception of an occasional slip, or the kid really needing to pee, my bathroom stayed clean and dry.

Fast forward a few years. Big J is now a big boy and stands up to pee. Cool. I get that. I am forever cleaning up dribbles here and there, but nothing out of this world. Crap, I still have to clean up after my husband and he is 36 years old!!!!!

little j decided that he will have to pee standing up; just like his brother. The little dude's thingie barely fits over the side of the toilet, and he refuses to hold on, so basically, while he thinks he is peeing in the potty, he is actually peeing on my walls, floors, cabinets, rugs, etc, etc, etc .....

When my little dude decides he has to finally take care of Number 2, his little thingie just "stands" there ready to shoot ... and it does ... well.

So, for the last two weeks, I have been in potty hell ...while I was overjoyed at returning a box of 144 diapers to Costco yesterday, I am overwhelmed at all of my cleanup and constant need for standing in pools of pee.

We moved on to "underwears" (as little j likes to say) this week, using Pull-ups and diapers at night until we run out. He stays dry at school, no accidents ... but then again, they have these tiny little pottys at school - they are just the right height. As soon as he got home last night, he peed and his pants and underwear and socks (and my carpet and floor) were soaked.

I have tried to show him how to sit and tuck. Big J has shown him. Daddy has shown him.

Nope, my little j wants to become Big J, Jr .... there will be no sitting and tucking if he has his way!

Tuesday, Tuesday

Why I hate Tuesdays:

I am in the office. All.Day.Long.

I take phone call after phone call, and client after client, while the two dingbats that I work with pick their noses and shine their shoes.

Getting ready to get out of the house is a whirlwind. E somehow feels that because he has to drop the boys off at day care, that he must have everything laid out in assembly line fashion for him so that the morning runs smoothly (because he does not want to be late for work).

So, while E sleeps in bed (um, one would think, that if you didn't want to be late, one would get the eff out of bed earlier and help!) I shower, change, grab my work stuff, get the boys up, change the boys, get the boys their breakfast and vitamins, make E's lunch, set out E's breakfast (as I do this, I consistently call up to E to wake up or get out of bed) and try to remember something for my own lunch.

I lay out the boys' shoes, coats, backpacks and then finally head out the door to catch the train.

By the time I am on the train, I am irritated and tired.

By the time I get to the office, I am depressed.

By the time I am done for the day, I need to drink.

I hate Tuesdays.


By the way, who remembers to get me breakfast or lunch some days ... oh yea, that's my job too!

My special day

So, yesterday was Valentine's Day.

As you may recall ... I said that I really didn't care to "celebrate."

Well, I had other reasons to celebrate ... I became an AUNT!

Little N was born in the early hours of Valentine's Day to my youngest sister. I am so excited I could just burst! Isn't he the cutest??? The boys were pretty psyched to finally see pics of "Baby Cousin" that we had been praying for for 9 months!

I also volunteered to help out on Big J's class for his Valentine's Party. It was so much fun watching all of the Kindergartners pass out their treats and play games ... and I know Big J was happy that I was there for him.

We spent the afternoon working from home ... sorry boss, I was to excited about a new nephew and my kids' Valentine's days that I just couldn't focus ... life happens ya know!

I went to Cold Stone and bought E and the boys their own desserts for the evening (it was rather fitting since the temps have gone up so much that it felt like Spring was just around the corner!). Then, Big J and I went to little j's Valentine's Day party at preschool.

They sang some songs (he was so cute, clapping along) and then ate treats (boy did they eat treats!).

I made a special Valentine's Dinner - heart shaped Monte Cristo paninis, french fries and steamed broccoli ... too bad the boys were pretty stuffed from eating crap all day! They each got a little gift from me: more candy and a Tome and Jerry DVD. E bought them little candy heart boxes full of ... more chocolate!

Oh yea - I also got a beautiful bouquet of flowers from E .... a lovely surprise!

So ... all in all, we didn't spend too much money on the holiday, but I think we all liked it. And in the end, my best Valentine was my new nephew ;)

Where did all my estrogen go?

Valentine's Day is coming.



I can tell you I am under-whelmed.



Should I be like most women and tell my husband that he better do something for me, or else? Or, should I just tell him what I am really thinking this year .... I don't care.



Or, am I just trying to be all "modern and nonchalant" and once V-Day comes, and I have no flowers, cards or treats to speak of, will I be sad and upset and secretly wish my husband was not who he really is and instead be all romantic and crap and get me something "just because?"

Am I even female any more? Or does this prove that I am truly goofy and a bigger "girl" than most?



Sometimes I drive myself nuts.



Just sayin.

Sickies ....

On the train an hour earlier than usual.

Day care called, Big J has a fever and we needed to come get him. He had a runny nose yesterday and complained about a headache this AM, so I am sure it is his sinuses.

Praise God E was able to work from home and go get him at noon.

I am headed home early to pick up little j (just in case he is fighting something off - I would rather have him at home).

Of course, we leave for Florida on Friday morning.

Always something. Never sick on a day when I am already headed home, or on a weekend when I can curl up with them. :(

We will put Taco Tuesday on hold for today an I will be warming up leftovers for this evenings supper .... hopefully the kiddos will be healthy tomorrow morning!

Short ... but not so sweet

My boss has sunk to a new level .... really. He has.

The Blizzard that hit a few weeks ago? The one where the City and State pretty much told anyone who wasn't essential to their work (ie, doctors, police, firmen) that they shouldn't be on the roads. Period. My boss? Made people come in ... and stay until 5:00.

A co-worker had an episode last week at work. 911 was called. He had been working from home (um ... but I cannot????). When he found out, before anything got done and before the stretcher left the office, he was updating HR systems to reflect her docked sick time.

I have been working on a HUGE account for over a year. Trying to get this $ in to no avail. It finally came in on Wednesday, but the client forgot to bring something. In my boss' horribly untactful way of dealing with people, he pissed the client off and let him walk out of the office with a massive check in his pocket. And THEN had the audacity to say to me, "heh heh, oh well."

Heh Heh .... eff you dude. Really. You. are. a. DOUCHEBAG.

Blah, blah, blah ....

It's been a long week. Even with a day off on Monday, I feel like I have been working non-stop. I went from feeling exceptionally organized to out of control again, and I don't really know why.
I have been following my "do it now so you don't have to do it later" mantra .... but there have been a few nights where all I have felt like doing is sitting on the couch, flipping channels, and eating ...
There is another thing: eating. I cannot stop. I have no willpower what so ever. It would be one thing if I craved healthy shit, but I have been craving carbs like there is no tomorrow. I know a lot has to do with the weather, but I need to snap out of it or I am going to destroy the last year of hard work and weight loss in one big POOF! Chips, cookies, candy ... they literally call my name from the kitchen every afternoon and evening. I start the day off so well and by 3:00 BOOM!!!! I am eating like I starving animal.
It.Must.Stop.
I did start a new workout this week. I had tried this Bootcamp workout on OnDemand a few weeks ago and loved it. I decided to buy it from Amazon. It's Jay Johnson's Boot camp Fitness. It is straight up boot camp. No ifs, ands or butts about it. I missed Spin every day this week, but have been doing this in its place. I can hardly squat down to pee (TMI?). I recommend it BIG time if you need a new kick in the ass. I am actually going to see what other workouts he has on DVD and get a few. Its a nice change of pace from Jackie Warner and Jillian Michael's.
It's Friday, and I am happy. I worked EARLY this morning, so I can end early this afternoon. Big J has swim lessons tonight (in this frigid cold I am wondering how much I really feel like taking the entire family swimming, but the kids love it). Tomorrow is wrap up the laundry and hang out day and on Sunday E is going to the NFC Championship game.
It's really weird, and I really cannot figure out why, but I don't care. I don't care that the Bears could be going to the Superbowl. I don't care that this is like the dream matchup and people are dying to go. I don't care. But, that isn't me. If anyone knows me, I am a sports fanatic. This type of stuff should dominate my thoughts. Maybe it is a tell tale sign that the winter blues have kicked in yet again. Maybe by Sunday I can be excited. Maybe.

And so ... I cried

We had a day off yesterday. Big J, little j and I.

I rarely get the government holidays off, so it was nice to look forward to that, especially as Sunday night came to a close (Especially a Sunday that was spent in the bathroom, puking my guts out from drinking the previous night ... I shall digress).

We took our time getting dressed in the morning ... wandered around in our PJ's for a bit. I put dinner in the crock pot - pot roast (it turned out fabulously!) so I wouldn't have much more to do throughout the day.

We went to Wildberry for breakfast. I had a Spanish omelette, Big J and S'mores pancakes and little j had Fruity Pebbles pancakes (not the healthiest - but they actually ate!). It was an enjoyable meal and I didn't have to yell at them too much!

After breakfast, we drove over to see Daddy at his office, since, with Big J's school schedule, we really don't get to do that too often. The kids were excited; I think E was too.

We headed to Target and each of the boys carried a $5 bill that my Grandma had sent them for Christmas. We bought the game Operation. They were psyched.

We got home, ate some fruit (who were these kids??) and laughed our asses off while playing the game.

little j took a nap. I shoveled the snow and did my Boot camp DVD.

When little j woke up, the three of us went sledding before the snow turned to sleet/rain.

We, again, laughed our asses off! little j ended up in the weeds a few times and even he, the kid that cries at everything, laughed!

We went home, had some hot chocolate, the boys played Lego's and blocks and I finished off the pot roast.

Before dinner they set the table, picked up some toys and waited for Dad to come home. We ate dinner together. BOTH boys ate everything.

After dinner, Big J requested to wash the dishes, and he actually did a good job. little j wanted to help too, so he wiped the table and floor from dinner.

I think I was walking around in la-la land.

After the boys were tucked in, and I watched my DVR'ed Bachelor and Being Erica, I went to check on them before I called it a day.

I held each of them for a bit, remembering what they were like when they were small .... really small. And, with each boy, I cried.

We had a good day. For the first time, in a very long time, I wasn't frazzled with them, overwhelmed with them, tired of them. I had a good day with them and that made me happy.

And so ....

I cried.

Holiday recap

Where did my vacation go? Where did Christmas go? Shit, where the hell did November go?

Remember when you were a kid and vacations were endless? Christmas took forever to get here and it never seemed to leave?

Not any more!

We enjoyed our holiday - the quick flash of time that it was. ;)

I worked until the 22nd and then had the rest of the year off (yahoo Mountain Dew!)

I was planning on my aunt bringing my Grandma to our house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - so I had a lot to plan for ... but I also wanted to enjoy some time off with the boys.

We baked a lot of cookies ... a LOT ... I made:

1. Chocolate Peanut Butter sandwiches ... YUM!
2. Oreo Cookie Balls .... sinful
3. Cranberry-Pistachio drops
4. Salted Chocolate dipped Shortbread
5. Chocolate-Cherry Biscotti
6. Decorated Sugar cookies
7. Chocolate Chunk cookies
8. Saltine Cracker toffee
9. Caramel wrapped pretzel truffles

I am still surprised I didn't gain ten pounds over the holidays!

E was off the week before Christmas so the four of us grabbed some lunches, enjoyed some time at Caribou Coffee sitting by the fire with hot chocolate (or in my case, the Dark Chocolate Spicy Mocha ... I was addicted and probably spent $50 in a few weeks drinking these in place of breakfasts and lunches!). It was enjoyable to just be a family for a while, rather than employees of other people!

Christmas Eve was a blur. It happened that my aunt screwed me over on my visit with Grandma (another post for another day) and I would have to wait until Christmas night to see her, so, it would just be the four of us. We went to 3:00 Children's Mass .... it was so cute to see the kids in the Christmas play ,.... and watching Santa walk up the aisle with a gift for baby Jesus (yep, I sobbed .... like a baby). It was great to see the boys dressed up so much ... they looked so cute.

We went home and I prepared Christmas Eve Dinner:

Crab and Shrimp Bisque
Holiday Overnight Salad
Apple and Cranberry Stuffed Pork Loin Roast
Baked Corn
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Sweet and Sour Green beans
Red Velvet Cake

It was fabulous dinner (even though little j never touched a morsel) and E and I shared a few Champagne cocktails!

After dinner we played some Wii, set out cookies and milk for Santa, read the Polar Express and then the boys got into their PJ's and went to bed ... I wish every night was that easy to get them to go to bed.

E and I had wrapped all of the Santa presents the night before, so we actually sat down on the couch and watched It's a Wonderful Life and enjoyed a relaxing Christmas Eve ... and watched it snow out the window (this is the ONE and ONLY time you will hear me say how beautiful the snow was!). After we were sure the boys were sound asleep, we played Santa .... I wrapped all of the gifts from Santa in red Santa wrapping (the one thing that I remember from Santa as a child was that his wrapping paper was eerily similar to what my Mom's presents were wrapped in!). We moved flowers away from the front of the fireplace and took a few bites of cookies, drank milk and then hit the hay!

Christmas morning was so cool. The boys woke up and we had Big J run to tell us if Santa thought they were good this year. He ran downstairs and came back up yelling, "I thought we were bad this year! I can only imagine what it would look like if we were good!' ;)

We spent the next few hours unwrapping and playing. I got some new pajamas and underwear (Big J thought that was hysterical), an infinity scarf, Glenn Beck's Broke on audio, wind chimes for the back yard, a cute cardigan, a dress from the boys and a few little things. We enjoyed an overnight egg casserole and overnight french toast that I had made (the french toast has become our family tradition).

After presents (and me throwing ham in the oven - see one of my previous posts), we cleaned up and headed down to my sister in laws to celebrate Christmas with E's family.

It was enjoyable, the ham came out very good (thank God - I practically nailed it to two pans and duct taped foil around it so it would survive the car ride down!).

There, I got a Kindle (a surprise!), a Coach shoulder bag (another surprise) and some odds and ends.

We headed back North to pick up my Grandma.

The visit with Grandma was low key and relaxed and I enjoyed every second of it. She napped with the boys on Sunday while I ran to Target to get more Rubbermaids to store the plethora of toys the boys had received from everyone. We enjoyed a repeat of my Christmas Eve meal and I "returned" her to my Aunt that night.

It was so nice to know I still had one more week off from work.

E went back that Monday. So, it was me and the boys.

Monday: we ran a few errands, returned a few unneeded Christmas presents, grocery shopped for the coming week and Mommy let them get McDonald's (I let them only once every few months).

Tuesday: Pajama Day. We stayed in our pj's all day. The boys watched TV, played with toys, built a fort, decorated the Gingerbread train my Grandma gave them for Christmas, and Mommy got to veg a bit too!

Wednesday: Kohl's Children museum (which I will not be renewing a membership for because I would like to strangle all the hoity toity moms and spoiled rotten brats that you have to deal with while you are there), and brunch with the boys while the cleaning lady was at the house.

Thursday: Babysitter for boys while Mommy went to the doctor and lunch out with Daddy near his office.

Friday: UCF game day and New Years Eve!!!
What a day. All three boys fell asleep right before kickoff, so my friends and I (through Facebook and texts and the Internet) all watched the Knights defeat Georgia in the Liberty Bowl "together." So, my game day spread (including homemade cheese balls, shrimp dip, chips and salsa and LIQUOR) was mine all mine!!!! (What did I say about not gaining ten pounds?!)

After game day, we bathed the boys, changed into party clothes and threw some sausage on the grill ()it was 60 degrees outside) for our big New Years Eve party (once again, it was just the four of us).
We grilled out, played Wii, had a dance marathon and watched Dick Clark's NYE so we could celebrate at 11:00 for the boys ... low key, but fun.

New Years Day was spent taking down Christmas decor and enjoying the fact that I still had three more days of vacation.

Going back to work on that Tuesday sucked ... it still sucks. But, looking back on my vacation, I really enjoyed spending so much time with my family and the boys .... it was a blessing.