26 hours squeezed into 24 hour days

The whirlwind tour of school started last week

Wednesday was Big J's walk-through. We met his teacher, saw where he would put his backpack, looked around his room.

He enjoyed being there, he even asked if we could stay for a bit so he could play with some toys. We had paperwork to fill out anyway ... so we stayed. It was kind of cool when I overheard him saying to another little boy, "Hi, my name is "Big J', what's your name?" I was pleased that some of our teachings about manners and etiquette had paid off!

That evening we made Big J's favorite dinner: shrimp, and enjoyed some family time. We prepared his backpack, got his clothes laid out and by 8:00 he was in bed and snoring! ;)

I set my alarm on Thursday morning, even though I had taken the day off of work, to make sure I was up and ready to go for Big J. He beat me to the punch. Right after my alarm had gone off, there he was, dressed, teeth brushed and ready to go! I wondered if this would continue after the first day?!

I made him some pancakes, let him watch a Scooby-Doo and then little j, E, Big J and I all headed across the street to wait for the bus. Big J did great. little j, not so much.... he so badly wanted to go with his brother on the bus. I had to walk away and sit on the front step and watch Big J leave from afar since his brother was acting so badly. Once he stepped on to the bus ... that is when my tears started. I really didn't think I would cry ... I didn't feel it ... but, apparently, I needed to!

I spent the next few hours getting laundry done, getting the oil on my car changed (way, way, way overdue) and working out with little j counting everything down for me. Around 11:00 I started to clean up and prepare for the bus to drop Big J off at 11:51.

As we were walking out to wait for the bus, we noticed that there was a message on the machine. Apparently the note I wrote was misplaced and the school decided to send him to day care rather than home. Crap!!!!! Just what I needed on the very first day. So I left E at home, just in case they sent him home, and I high-tailed my ass over to day care, where a blotchy faced kid just got dropped off :( He was so excited to see me!!!!

The four of us went to Rainforest Cafe to celebrate the first day. He told us about recess and his school day and then we just had fun. We came home and he and I spent time painting a bird feeder he had gotten for his birthday and then we worked on Lego's .... I actually loved being a stay-at-home mommy; it felt incredible.

Friday was a different story altogether. I had to get to work early (so I could be back for the bus to drop off), so E took Big J to the bus. Big J cried hysterically, the same way he has been at day care for the last month or so. Great. Just what we need. E said he just kind of placed him on the bus and left ... what else could he do?

So, I waited for Big J after school and when the bus dropped him off ... little j did his happy dance and we all went inside to eat lunch. While we were waiting for the bus, day care called and wanted to make sure Big J was in the right place.

I called back. I got more info than I needed or wanted.

Apparently Big J and his friend, Alex (one of the boys that came to his birthday party that I could have done without) were arguing/playing/fighting on the bus and Big J somehow managed to give Alex a bloody nose. Great ... just what I need now! The last thing we need to deal with is getting our bus rights revoked; then I am in a real world of crap trying to figure out the logistics of that mess!!!!

I gave Big J an ear full. It turns out, they were playing, and nothing was meant badly. But my issue is the fact that for over a year now, I have been trying to tell Big J that we do not put our hands on our friends while we are playing. His buddy AJ is big into the wrestling thing and we have gone through hundreds of requests from day care to separate the two of them because they cannot tone it down. (Another side note - AJ's mom? Worthless. Could care less. Thanks for the help lady.) Here we go again.

So ... all weekend we talked about how to play, how not to play. We hoped and prayed Monday would go better.

Waiting for the bus? Another tearful and hysteria filled wait. It really gets my day started on a great foot, let me tell you!!!!! Once again, I helped Big J on the bus, dropped little j off at day care and then headed off to work. I promised the boys that if I got done in time, I would pick them up early and we could head to the pool (its the last week it is open).

Well, I got there on time, but Big J told me to come back and pick him up later since he was headed outside to play with his friends?!?!?!? On that note, when we got home, I told him that I wouldn't listen to the tears before school anymore... since he is obviously fine and hanging out with his mom isn't really that big of a deal.

Turns out, he didn't cry this morning.

Go figure. Let's see what happens tomorrow when I drop him off!!!!

Oh yea, remember how he got himself dressed on his own that first day? Hasn't happened since! And the bus ride after school on Monday? Joshua told Alex he had to sit next to someone else for a few days. :) At least we are 1 for 2!!!!

So ... we made it through the first week of school. It was crazy and hectic ... and I want my old routine back. I am not one of those moms who sings the praises of the start of the school year since, quite frankly, this has added a whole new can of crap to my day. To my stay at home moms, kids going to school means more time for them. For me, it just means more chaos.

You know my plate? The one that has been full for a while now? Well, that plate is starting to spill onto the carpet.

But, just like everything else, I will survive somehow!!!!

Restart?

There is a shift happening; some sort of cosmic alignment of the stars. There has to be. My world feels like the Earth tilted a little bit extra on its axis. I am out of sorts ... completely.

Big J turned 5 on Sunday. He starts Kindergarten on Thursday. My baby is a boy. When the hell did that happen?

We went to get his pictures taken last Friday afternoon. When I was sitting in front of the computer screen looking at the proofs, I kept thinking to myself, "Something is wrong. What looks so wrong with him?" I even wondered if he was "cute" anymore (and immediately felt like a bad Mom) ... and that is when it hit me. He isn't cute anymore. He lost all hints of being a baby. There are no more wrinkles of skin on his hands. There is no more chubbiness in his cheeks. His face has narrowed. He is a young man. He looks handsome.

He has also become a little punk too! He has this attitude about him. He is King of the pout. King of the Last Word. King of the "HMPFs!" He loves to talk back, loves to shake his head like a diva (are boys supposed to do that?????). It is so stinking annoying. I miss my sweet boy. Every conversation with him involves me saying, "J that isn't funny, knock it off." I miss my sweet innocent boy ... where did he go???

His big boy 5th birthday party was on Saturday. He invited two of his friends from day care ... want to talk about wimpy? The two boys, one was actually a first grader, just stood on the patio while Big J, little j and a few friends of the family played games. They kept saying that they were hot and wanted to sit inside with the air conditioning. I finally relented after about 30 minutes because I just couldn't take the whining any more! My house was destroyed and they were only there for two hours! I guess we have hit the time in life where parties are separated, one for family, and one for friends (and from now on, that one from friends is OUTSIDE of my home).

Big J got Lego set after Lego set for presents ... no more cars, trucks, trains or dinosaurs. Now it is Lego Pirate forts or rescue ships. The kid can actually sit for hours trying to piece these puzzles (meant for children ages 7-10) together.

Where oh where has my baby gone?????

And now, tomorrow, I am going to "Meet the Teacher" at school. Meet the Teacher?????? Holy Crap .... KINDERGARTEN! KINDERGARTEN! KINDERGARTEN!!!!!!

I am just a bit freaked out .... I feel like everything is changing all at once and I am trying to figure out just how to handle it all. I have spent five years getting to know my son. Five years learning how to handle work and day care, trying to always show him that he is my priority, not work. And now, suddenly, in the blink of an eye, my son has changed. My life has changed. My world ... it's changed.

I feel like its back to square one .... no one told me this. No one prepared me for this in any book or child birth class. No one told me that you would mourn the little dude that once toddled down the hall yelling for you. No one told me that you would want to smack your lovely 5 year old upside the head and then cradle him in your arms all at the same time. No one told me that I would cry my eyes out, not because he is going into Kindergarten, but because he is different and I have to learn who he is all over again.

Big J is all gown up ... and I have NO clue how to be a Mom to him .... Guess I better start learning!

Keep talking Mr President

It fits! .... almost

There are certain clothes I have kept over the years on my roller coaster ride of weight gain and weight loss. I kept cute little t's, skirts and pants. I donated jeans and trendy stuff (while a pair of jeans may slide on, the wash and cut, more than likely, will have long disappeared into our memory banks!). Although, I did keep my favorite jeans, just as a guide to see "where I am at."
So, throughout this surge to finish my weight loss goal, I have been trying my clothes on periodically. At first, these skirts wouldn't go on over my hips. Then, I got them over the hips. Then, I was able to s-q-u-e-e-z-e the zippers shut.
Well, yesterday I threw on one of my favorite skirts; the white linen skirt I wore to my wedding shower. It zipped ... and I wasn't afraid that it would pop open!
So... a few more pounds and this sucker is like a brand new purchase! :)
Finally, some success!

The things people wear

I have come home a few times in my life, looked in the mirror and thought, "What the hell was I thinking?" But, mostly, I try and look in the mirror before I leave the house, so those moments don't have to happen.

Why don't other people look in mirrors?

Shirts 2 times to small, pants that show every bump and bulge, skirts so short they would make a hooker cringe.

But the things I really don't understand are the ones that do permanent stuff to look cool, but then dress like total dorks.

Um, so, those tattoos you have on your ankle and arm of symbols look rad .... but the pantyhose with granny sandals on your feet????? Lady ..... you look like a royal dork!!!!!

I wonder about people sometimes .....