As time goes by ...

I hate typing. I hate going back and correcting all of my awful typing mistakes. I cannot type and think about or do anything else at the same time.



Life has spun completely into the chaotic zone.



Hence, I have not blogged since July.



What has happened since? Oh, holy hell .... what hasn't happened?

Went to Florida in August to pick up the boys. Spent time, as usual, in the pool, drinking, eating and chilling with my parents, sisters and Baby N.

Took family pictures for the first time in three years for our Church directory. Wow.

The boys were ring bearers in my SIL's wedding. They were the cutest things there (not biased, at all).

Big J started FIRST grade. Holy crap - he is old. ... that must mean I am old!

little j started preschool. He loves homework (ha! I will remind him of that someday!).

My Dad came in for a surprise (and fast) visit. He went to see my sick Grandma, but spent a few hours playing with the boys and drinking with me .... ;)

College football started ... my Knights have already pissed me off, but I still love 'em.

Went to a wedding with E, drank a few extra vodka tonics, rough start the following morning, but I took care of business!

Big J lost his two front teeth - he sounds hysterical!!!!

little j is slowly getting rid of pull ups for nighttime. Doctors say its normal until he is 5. Oh God bless me!

The Rays are in the playoffs after a night of baseball chaos!

I haven't gained any of my summer weight-loss back. Let's keep it that way!

We planned a family vacation to St Augustine for December. My sisters, BIL's, parents, E, Baby N, the boys ... all of us, in an ocean-front home, for five days. Let's hope there is no drama.

I am going to hang out with two high school buddies on Friday night. I feel a bit weird going out, sans E, with two guys, but knowing they were like brothers throughout high school takes away most of the weirdness.

I hope I can overcome my loathing of typing on my keyboards and update this more often, so that I don't have to recap my kids' high school graduations!

Wedding memories and anniversary trips

September 18, 2004 - Our Wedding Day. One of the best, yet scariest days of my life. It was a day in which I married a man I truly loved, and also a day where I knew my life as just "me," ended.



I remember the day as if it were yesterday. It was a beautifully sunny day, we had our mishaps and silly things, but in the end, I loved my wedding and the memories I have from it.



E has never been a hapless romantic. He isn't my Romeo, or Knight in Shining Armour. Some days I wish I had that ... but what E is, and why I love him, is my friend. He is the guy that I can watch football with. The guy that I can take to pumpkin patches, family reunions and movies. He is the guy that I can bitch about girlfriends to. He won't take me to a forest with a picnic basket full of goodies and write me poetry, but he will take me out for a burrito and watch the MLB playoffs with me after we put kids to bed.



Our marriage hasn't been easy, as I have said before. Our roads has been bumpy and scary, to say the least. I have questioned my decision many times. But, today, I am glad that I married him. I am glad that he is the one I am driving down the bumpy road with.



We celebrated our 5th anniversary on our own. We took the boys to my MIL's on Thursday evening. Friday morning we packed up the car and drove a few hours to Galena, IL. We have been there before, celebrating our engagement. It was a nice trip. We didn't do much - that was the nice part!



We spent Friday afternoon walking around town, shopping (he hates that, but he actually did pretty well). We shared an ice cream float at an old-fashioned ice cream parlour. That evening we drove, following the GOS recommendation, down Devil's Ladder Road (HOLY SHIT!!!!! It was like a roller coaster - only in our car and on a dirt path!) to a restaurant overlooking the Mississippi River. My food? Sucked ... but the ambiance was awesome and E really enjoyed the scenery (and his food). After dinner we hung out at the Resort's bar for a bit, he bought me a couple dirty martinis and we watched the end of the Cubs game. It was so cool to just hang out with him again ... like old times.



On Saturday we went back into town for lunch - hanging out at yet, another bar, watching college football and eating. It was so much fun. We hung out in the pool for the rest of the afternoon before heading to our nice Italian dinner (um - I think all we did was eat!).



On Sunday, we got up and went to Sunday brunch (yes, we ate some more) before heading back into town to get the boys and jump back into reality.



All in all, the weekend re-ignited some passion that had been missing from our marriage. Hopefully we can keep it while wandering through our every day life.



Happy Anniversary, my dear.

I need a PERMENANT VACATION!

Another glorious 4 1/2 day weekend has come and gone way too quickly.

Thursday was another early start for me. I was up and out of the house by 5:15. But ... DONE with my appointments at 10:00!

So, I spent most of Thursday mowing the lawn, weeding, etc. I also got the house prepared (somewhat ... with all of our demolition and construction mess, it wasn't so easy!) for my parents arrival on Friday.

I met a girlfriend for coffee after Spin and grocery on Friday morning, and I realized just how much I loved creating my own schedule. This was how it used to be before I was thrust into this 24-7 work role. I talked about my future endeavors with her and it felt good to be talking about something for myself.

I went home, cleaned the rest of the house, got the boys ready and headed out o the airport to pick up my Mom and Dad. Big J was so excited he could hardly sit still. They arrived, we headed to Corner Bakery for a snack and then home to hang out. The boys were ecstatic.

Unfortunately, E had to work at a nearby Summer festival that evening, so it was just my parents and I with the boys (maybe that was a fortunate turn???!). We decided to fore-go dinner out, we ordered a pizza, opened a bottle of wine and enjoyed out evening. I miss them being around!

We had the wedding on Saturday ... my MIL came to watch the boys for us. We had a good time - realized that some of my extended family really and truly are TPT ... but, then again, I think we have known this all the time! E and my parents actually got along quite well this trip ... that was LOVELY! I crashed in my parents' room since I drank a few throughout the day.

On Sunday we took the boys to the Festival that E was working at ... I let Big J ride a few rides and hang out with E and then we headed to the house. When E got home we all cleaned up and headed out for a nice Italian dinner.

The boys behaved BEAUTIFULLY ... I think I stole someone else's children for the evening! It was such a nice night out for all of us ... it was a shame to know that my parents were leaving so quickly in the morning. :(

Big J had a horrible time dropping off Grandma and Grandpa at the airport. I do believe his words were, "I want my Grandma and Grandpa back!" He sobbed with his head in his hands ... heavy, adult-like sobs. It truly broke my heart.

I had decided that since these good-byes were getting harder each time, to take the day off. When we got home I put little j to bed, filled up the pool and Big J and I had a pool-side day. I grabbed a beer, some Doritoes and watermelon and we ate junk food and swam and burned our shoulders to a crisp. It was simply AWESOME.

At the end of the day I thought about it all and realized that is what I want. I want to be there with my kids ... more than just a vacation day every few months. That is why I want to create the new business. That is why, even if I get fired, I will not miss my hellish job. My kids. They drive me nuts and I want to strangle them some times.... but mostly. I love being around them and just being Mommy.

I so hope something starts to culminate soon. I need to get hot. As I sit here in this hell-hole of an office, taking phone calls that no one else can take and watch my children on the day-care-cam, I realize that I have grown to truly and 100% hate this place. I can honestly say that I have no friends here anymore. The ones that I did have? Well, after seeing that they have stolen business from me and talked shit? I have no friends. I work for myself and that is IT. Its funny how something so great can become so bad in such a short period of time.

I know that the right thing will happen at the right time. I just hope it is soon. I am ready for a permanent vacation from this place ... and I want it to be on MY terms ... not theirs.