Where have you been??

Where the hell has time gone?

I have so many thoughts ... so little time to write them!

For now, I will write about what I am proud of today.

I have lost a total of 20 pounds with only 10 more to go until I hit my goal!

Sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where can I find the time????

How do some people do it? I know I bitch ... A LOT ... about my job. I will continue to bitch about my job until it changes or I am not there any more. But, I also know I still have some perks. I am not tethered to a desk every day from 8-5. I can set my schedule (most of the time) for what works for me ... around swim lessons, day care parties, etc.

What I do not get, is how do women who do work 8-5 every day get anything done?

Big J has grown about 2 feet in the last month or so. His feet? I think he is wearing men's sizes. I have to get him a complete new wardrobe for fall/winter. I also have changed sizes since last winter (thankfully SMALLER ... but not yet small enough to fit back into my pre-little j clothes) and need to get new jeans and some tops for the cold weather. I have a list of stores to hit and places to try ... but when the heck am I supposed to get this done?

Taking Big J shopping is just BEGGING for a barrage of, "Mommy, can I have's" and "You never get me anything's." Trying to find a pair of jeans that fit my inherited thunder thighs and baby pooch while keeping an 18 month old inside a fitting room and a 4 year old from asking why I have a scar on my belly is IMPOSSIBLE and draining.

So, on my way home every day, when I can, I stop at an individual store and get something done. How I miss the days of knowing I had the ability to work from home one day a week and I could tackle my errands in just a few short hours while the kids were at school. How I miss the days that I could avoid even coming near a store on a busy Saturday afternoon, while the boys are napping, when I would much rather be watching college football anyway!

And even without the boys ... have you tried on clothes lately (and if you have, and you are one of those woman who can look at a size, slip it on and voila pay dirt ... leave me alone!)??? I have pants at home. They are too big. I went to the store to get the SAME pants in one size down. Too small. Tried on the size I have at home .... too effing small!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!??

I tried on jeans. I KNOW what kind I need ... I cannot, nor have I ever (even in my skinniest of days) been able to wear skinny jeans. Once again, the inherited thunder thighs have stopped that fantasy. So, I look for straight leg, mid rise (did I mention I have the "I have had 2 C-sections pooch"????) jeans. Um ... if you say they are S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T leg ... WHY do they get narrow at the thigh and then big at the calf ... um, by definition, is that straight??????

straight,adjective -er, -est, adverb, noun
–adjective 1. without a bend, angle, or curve; not curved; direct: a straight path.

So .... LUCKILY I found a pair of Liz & Co at JC Penney that I think does the trick.

THEN I went bra shopping ... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA .....

I tried doing this on Saturday afternoon in between naps and at the before the start of the ND game. Yeah ... she measured me, and, yet again, I am between sizes. Actually - I have BIG freakin boobs! Hello, can we say 34 DDD ... TRIPLE effing D?!?!?!??! Whatever happened to my sweet little 34 C chest? Oh yea, two kids.

So, Victoria Secret only had a 36 DD, I bought that and hope it will suffice until I can find a place that carries bras for big mamas. I ran home to catch the 2nd quarter of the game, change a load of laundry and get the kids ready for Saturday evening Mass.

ARGH! I am hoping to catch a burst of energy one evening after the boys go to sleep so I can actually clean the house ... doing things like that sporatically doesn't work because it never ends!!!!

Birthdays, Trips and more

Where oh where have I been these past two weeks!!!

Life has been spinning ... sometimes spinning out of control, and I would love to know where my plans always end up ... cuz they are NOT coming even close to completion!

So, let's see .... what have we done, seen, heard and thought of in these past two weeks???

I took some time off (yahoo Mountain Dew!) to celebrate Big J's birthday ... the BIG 4 (talk about where has the time gone??????) It was the Friday before his birthday ... I took him in for his 4 year pictures (I suddenly realized why I never have pictures on here any more ... I am never on my home computer ... where I keep them all ... I will have to create a new post just to do this one thing!). He is such a cool dude now ... I want to just hug him and save him him for future days ... knowing that he won't always be just this cool!!!!

After his pics, we picked up his younger brother and the 3 of us went to CPK for lunch. We had a blast coloring and goofing around. It was bittersweet ... to see how much fun they are ... but to know that it will never be like this again ... 4 and 17 months.

That Saturday was his actual birthday. We took him out for pancakes (they came free for his bday ... we actually had so many free kids' meals I couldn't use them all up!). After pancakes we went to the Framer's Market where he picked out some blueberries, apples and cookies ... it was too fun! That afternoon, Big J went with E to the Bears' game, while little j and I started getting the house ready for the birthday party, and for my parents' visit. So much to do ... and no where NEAR enough time to get it done.

Sunday was the day of the party .... Big J was so hyped. We picked up hi pirate cake (once again ... pics to be posted) and balloons .. and people started showing up at noon. It was a great party.

My parents were getting along with E's parents (it is so nice to see this ... after all of the crap we have all trudged thru for so long. Friends have become like family now. The only issue I had was with Big J's friend's mom. Dude ... watch your effing kid! I swear ... for about a month now, Big J has been coming home from school with talks from his teachers about he and "aggressive one" wrestling, etc. I have been trying to teach him about no hands, etc ... now I know WHO the culprit is.

I stood there and watched Aggressive One slug Big J for no reason. His Mom? GIGGLED. She effing giggled. Freaking blond bitch. About an hour later, Aggressive One took a car and shoved into Big J's face ... once again, she smiled and then, upon seeing my irritation, she said, "Aggressive One ... stop." ... now, if it were my child ... um ... let us not even BEGIN to go there!!!!!!

Anyway, once Aggressive One and his family left (and oh yea ... one more beef .... they have 3 kids, ages 6, 4 and 1 .... Aggressive One is in class with Big J .... what did they give Big J for his presents? A Dora board game and a little baby Tonka truck ... can we say, thanks for the re-gifts???? Big J looked at the game and said, "Mom, Dora is for girls."), the party was great and everyone really had fun.

My parents stayed thru that Tuesday and we all really enjoyed oursleves. They got along really well with E (and vice versa) and I enjoyed their company and the fact that I was not at work!!!!!

On Tuesday Big J left with my parents for his vacation in Florida - he was SO excited!!!

Life has been quiet aroudn teh house without my little dude ... but he is loving every second of his trip. and little j? He is having the time of his little life too. I think he loves having the center of attention for once! He even said a few words ... "melmo" (Elmo) and "oooooonnnn" (moon) ... now if we could just get "MOMMY!!!!!!!"

On Thursday I head down to Tampa to see Big J and I stay thru Tuesday ... can we say PSYCHED???

Why am I psyched?

• I see my sister who can, hopefully, help me nail down my logo for my business so when I get back and I can start to really get moving


• I get to see my "bug" ... I really do miss him


• I get to get pampered by Mom and Dad for a while .......... aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh


• The weather here sucks ass ... serioulsly, Summer is GONE.


• FOUR more days off of work ... I still hate this place

Pics to come soon .... really!!!!!

Time in a Bottle

I try. Really, I swear, I try.

I want a clean house, happy kids, a satisfied husband. I would LOVE to get this little business venture of mine off the ground. But, time, oh time, once, you were a friend of mine. Where have you gone?

I knew that once the summer came along, and the days stayed around a lot longer (hallelujah, really, I cannot handle when it gets dark at 4:00), I knew the boys would stay up later. But, THIS late? Really?

By the time I get everyone in bed and get to MY life ... well ... my life now consists of going to BED!

I remember a time where the boys were in bed by 8:00, I would get my chores done and still have enough time for some personal time ... website browsing, facebooking, email, phone calls. I feel like I have 32 hours of work to squeeze into a 24 hour day.

I know other people have this same problem ... but how do you cope? Seriously?

If I truly want to walk away from this job that I HATE, I have to spend some time on my business - get the website created, a logo up and running .... but since I am trying to do this on my own .... it is going to take a while.

In the meantime, my parents are coming to visit tomorrow (Woo Hoo!), so I took Friday and Monday off. Maybe I should stick some of the extra time I might get with them here and throw it on a shelf for safe keeping. I can pull it out when I need some reserves!!!!!!

Time flies when you are having ... fun?

Where, oh where, has my time gone? In the blink of an eye a week goes by (yet, there are days that seem to DRAG ON FOREVER!)

Thanksgiving came and went ... E came home. It was a whirlwind weekend. I was cooking and preparing all day Thursday - his parents and sister came for dinner. We had an enjoyable time ... MUCH better than visits in the past. I must say that one of teh thinsg this deployment gave us was a new relationship with his family. They still have their quirks (whio doesn't???), but at least time with them can be enjoyable.

Friday evening we had our 20 year grade school reunion. I had a BLAST! It was so less nerve-wracking than a high school reunion. I had grown up with these people, so it seemed like a family reunion, rather than a competition. It was so cool to catch up with some people that I literally have not seen in over 20 years! I felt like I had been talking to them every day since, though! I wish we could have another! I got tipsy ... no .... DRUNK. E drove home while I slept (passed out). Thankfully I was just a bit slow the next day; not hungover like I have been in the past (E would have shot me!).

We took Big J and little j to breakfast with Santa on Saturday - little j fell completely asleep before the fat man came ... funny pic that I will have to post later!

Sunday came way too quickly. Its weird - I "envision" the visit with E for days before he gets there, yet it never turns out to be quite what I pictured. I think part of it is taht we both have defenses up - we alreayd wait for his departure the moment he arrives. Sucks - but that is life.

So ... now we wait for time to creep until vacation on teh 18th (and then we will FLY into the new year!) ........

Where has time gone????

I think it has nearly been 2 weeks since I last posted. Where has August ... shoot even SEPTEMBER ... gone?????

JL, my youngest sister, visited last week. It was so nice to have her here. Obviously it was nice to have help ... but it was also nice to have COMPANY. Someone to chat with once the kids go to bed.

She babysat for me a few days, while I went on my scheduled work appointments ... maybe she will be waiting for those additions to her family after these experiences!!! :)

We tried to shop a few times (tried being the important word there!). Mostly we just took the boys to lunch or dinner and hung out. We went to the Bears/Bucs game on Sunday - that was fun.

I celebrated my 4 year anniversary last Thursday ... without E. :( It sucked to not be able to celebrate with him. What was cool was that he sent me flowers and fruit (unbeknown to me - these are the traditional gifts for a 4 year anniversary). For anyone that KNOWS E and our issues that have plagued us over the years ... THIS was BEYOND sweet. I most certainly cried.

I am STILL looking for a new position ... to no avail. I wonder if I will EVER find anything. I really hate this place. Enough said.

I am trying to keep the boys out of teh house as much as possible over teh course of teh next week ... since I know CRAP weather is JUST around teh corner ...

Oh the joys .......