A clean slate

I went to Confession on Saturday. I haven't been in about a year.

While some people despise the Sacrament, I actually enjoy it. I feel like it is my cleansing diet. I feel refreshed. My soul feels clear.

My problem though? My anger and stress and overwhelmedness doesn't help me create an atmosphere to keep my soul refreshed.

I feel that if I had more time to myself, more help at home, less work to do, less feeling like I am being pulled by six limbs (when I only have four!) I would actually be able to keep that cleansed feeling.

So ... I continue to work on things.

I continue to try and keep my potty mouth clean (so not easy to do) and I feel like I am losing that battle.

I continue to try and relax and breathe deep when I have to ask the boys to do something for the 915th time.

I continue to try and lay off of the horn when I am driving behind some a-hole who appears to not know the difference between the brake pedal and the gas pedal.

I continue to try and maintain my patience when running errands and dealing with customer service reps who don't know the definition of "customer service."

I continue trying ... and I think that is all I can do ... and all God asks .... I hope.

Where has time gone?

I feel like life keeps moving and I just stand still watching it all happen around me ... trying to reach out at the precise moment that I could grasp on!
I am back from a glorious vacation in Florida and now I am on to starting the New Year off on the right foot - but it is hard, real hrad.
First things first - I am FAT. Real fat. No questions about it - I am FAT. My pants are tight, my boobs are huge, I look awful. I HAVE to lose weight. I don't care if I NEVER sleep at night, I MUST make time EVERY day to workout HARD. SO far I am doing OK. I started on Monday and will continue today (Tuesdays are a rarity since I don't even set foot into the door until 7:00). Here is a picture to prove how gross I look:



I even cropped it to NOT show most of the fatness .... ugh.

Next, work. I HAVE to get my numbers in this quarter. I don't care if it kills me ... I cannot be on the bottom ANYMORE. I hate this feeling. This is not me. I am better than all of this - and no one sees it. Not even me sometimes.

Next, the house. Chaos. Utter chaos. Time to clean and i mean CLEAN my surroundings. No more piles. No more crap .... I KNOW that if I just put things back when I use them, life would be so much more simple. FOLD the laundry when it is DONE ... not three days later! Put away the clothes when I am done folding them - not in a pile in the closet that I pick and choose from!

Think I can do it? I hope so!