IMHO

Helen? Really? C'mon people!!!!!

If you cannot follow me ... I LOVE the Biggest Loser. I have watched this show since the first season. I pretty much think it is one of the best reality shows on TV. Why? Because, no matter what you think, it promotes people getting off the couch and realizing that they can lose weight.

All season I watched as Tara wiped the floor clean, each and every time. I watched as Mike and his Dad defeated odds and grew closer, all the while, shrinking. I watched as Tara had the attitude of a winner, no matter what outcome played out.

I remember the episode where the teams had to choose someone to go home. It was between Helen and her daughter. I remember Ron saying that, as a parent, he would want his child to stay because he would want the very best for them. As a Mom (and thinking about what MY Mom would do) I could not have agreed more. Well, Selfish Helen chose to send her daughter home. From that point on, I despised Helen.

So, last night they paraded all of the contestants out, even the ones who went home. I couldn't help it, but I started to cry. Jerry and his wife, Grandma and Grandpa in their own worlds, looked amazing. Everyone was beaming from ear to ear. Ron looked so healthy and I can only hope he can pass his knowledge on to his other son, Max.

The finale came down to Tara, Michael and Helen. When the host asked Helen, before any one's weight was taken, if she thought she could beat the 2 younger contestants, Helen actually looked both of them up and down, and said "Yes, I think I can beat them." I wanted to reach through the TV, pick her up by her sunken face and bleach blond hair, and punch the living CRAP out of her. You bitch! Isn't that what fat people deal with day in and day out? Looks from the skinnier crowd? Judgements? Ever hear of being a gracious winner/loser?????

So ... kudos to Mike for looking more happy about being healthy than about winning money. Kudos to Tara for being an awesome inspiration. Jeers to Helen who looked like she starved herself to get to a weight that could win her some $$$$ ... I would like to place some bets to see how long she will actually stay at 117 lbs!!!!!!

On the other reality show that I waste precious moments on ... American Idol. Well, I think I go against the grain on this one. I detest Adam with every bone in my body. I think he is an over-the-top, weird, obnoxious, ANNOYING singer. He belongs on Broadway or doing voice overs for cartoons .... not on my radio!!!!!! Tell him to take the ugly black eye liner off and to quit destroying songs that I love ... and, oh yea, could the judges, especially Simon, crawl any further up his butt???? Seriously. I am rooting for Chris .... it won't happen, but I am.

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On a completely different note .... what the hell is going on with my freaking car??? The lease ends in less than 2 months. 3 weeks ago I get a flat, in the middle of the freaking expressway. It was a nutroll. New tire needed.

Yesterday, after working in the god-forsaken office, I get off the train and notice something funny looking about my front tire. Upon inspection, it was a bubble. SHIT!!!!!!!!

So, E took the tire off when I got home and put on the spare. He is apparently going to the mechanic to get another tire change. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am ready for a brand new vehicle that has no issues and is road ready!!!!

I want to be ....????

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Shoot. I wish I would have been one of those kids, whom, when asked this question, would TOTALLY know what they wanted to do. You know the types: "Susie, what so you want to be when you grow up?" "I want to be a doctor."

Yea. That wasn't me. What did I answer? A rock star. A freaking rock star. THAT was a brilliant idea.

Actually, what I always knew, was that I just wanted to be my Mom. I wanted to support my husband, raise my children and take care of our house. I knew that from way back. But, suddenly that became un-cool. You HAD to pick something.

So, I went to a college prep high school. I was smart. Not genius smart ... but A's and B's (at Benet Academy that aint no slouch). I was ranked 57 out of 312 when I graduated. Yet, still, I didn't know what I wanted to do.

My Dad had always promised us that we could go where ever we wanted to go for school. He would pay for 4 years and 4 years only. I had friends going to Notre Dame, Duke, schools that cost arms, legs and bodies. After thinking about it (and being the world's BIGGEST chicken shit), I figured it was stupid to pay $50,00 a year for something that I had no clue what to do. State school would be fine for me.

UCF was great. I am proud of my school, and getting prouder. But even after I started, I STILL didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Stupid me, even though I was VERY good at math and writing, I was sick of them, so I picked a major based on NOT having to do those things.

Criminal Justice degree here I come. Could I have been any more retarded? I wanted to "help" people. Duh. Whatever.

I graduated. And STILL didn't know what I wanted to do. My first job was at Best Buy because I couldn't find anything I wanted to do. Real impressive to tell the folks that want you at a 5 year reunion (thank God I lived in Florida at the time).

I finally got a job in my field working at a children's treatment center. Basically, I was an underpaid, overworked babysitter. These kids, mostly juvi kids, were nuts. I spent most of my days putting kids in holds, tackling them when they were trying to run and stopping hall riots. The day I broke my finger was when I had had enough.

I saw an ad in the paper to be a customer service rep at T Rowe Price. No experience needed - they would train you - you just needed a degree.

I got the job and it felt good to put on "work clothes" and go to work. But I still didn't feel it. For some, this was their dream job, getting their foot into the door in the financial industry. I just knew it was a good paycheck and I wasn't getting spit upon.

I moved from T Rowe to where I am now (it will be 10 years in June). I have enjoyed certain aspects of my career. But, as most of you have read from my previous posts, I hate most of it.

I am constantly trying to figure out what "job" would make me happy. I want to do something for myself. I know what I enjoy. I know what I am good at. But can they make money?

The biggest question for me is this: will I have time with my children. I didn't have babies only to drop them off to be in someone Else's hands 50% of the time.

What do I want to be when I grow up? I still think I know my answer. The pay isn't great. It is a dirty job and you NEVER get vacation. But the rewards are Heavenly. I want to be "mom."